Wife Acceptance Factor

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by anticupidon, Sep 27, 2020.

  1. anticupidon

    anticupidon Ancient Guru

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    Hello gurus!
    As the title says, there is this factor for married/in a relation folks when comes to build a computer, upgrade or buying hardware parts.
    Now, don't hide behind your finger and act like this isn't true. It is.
    Now, taking the whole budget, economic status of each household and spending budget, this aforementioned factor somehow exist and can't be ignored. Can or can't it?
    How many times when you decided to buy that hardware part you search for so long and read reviews about, and you faced The Wife Acceptance Factor?

    PS: Wife as in significant other, your partner.
     
  2. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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    You mean approval by?
     
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  3. AuerX

    AuerX Active Member

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    Separate bank accounts and incomes keeps the peace.
     
  4. SpajdrEX

    SpajdrEX AMD Vanguard

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    There is barely anything worse than wife aggro :eek:
    It's like fighting a WoW boss that just hits enrage.
     
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  5. AsiJu

    AsiJu Ancient Guru

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    Or the final boss of MK but this time you can't cheese it.

    But any purchase that's not just petty cash should be talked about.
    Guess we have it kind of backwards as I'm often the one telling wife to not buy something :)
     
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  6. N0sferatU

    N0sferatU Ancient Guru

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    No. There's a mutual understanding. I make really good money so (not to sound dick) there really is never a budget. I just try to practice common sense with purchases. We both buy whatever we want but understand the idea of what makes sense and what doesn't. I pity the person who can afford something but their significant other tells them they can't. That's not living.
     
  7. jbmcmillan

    jbmcmillan Ancient Guru

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    My wife and I have an agreement I don't tell her what to do and she doesn't tell me what to do. Out of mutual respect we discuss large purchases. Works well.
     
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  8. insp1re2600

    insp1re2600 Maha Guru

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    As long as my side of the bills are paid i don't see relevance in what it is to do with the other half, what i purchase and vice versa.
     
  9. Tat3

    Tat3 Ancient Guru

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    Start talking about buying a motorcycle. Look for those and motorcycle gear for a while and talk about those. After that computer parts do not seem too bad.

    Separate bank accounts are nice and some times it's just better not to talk about stuff you are planning to buy. Not likely that she will notice anything or if she does notice, say that broken parts have to be replaced or something... Or start talking about artifacts, CTD's and so like a week before then before purchase.

    Has not been a problem for me, but I do not talk about planned purchases like there is an option to not buy.
     
  10. Ryu5uzaku

    Ryu5uzaku Ancient Guru

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    Well I just save for things I wanna buy. We have a goal together to buy a house. So we are just limiting tad in general both of our spendings. But alas approval and acceptance is not a thing in a sense we just discuss crap. I used to do stupid spending because of multitude or reasons.
     
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  11. Dragam1337

    Dragam1337 Ancient Guru

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    In the relationships i've had, we have had separate economy... we each paid half the bills, but otherwise had our own money to spend as we pleased. Which we did. Her an absurd amount of money on shoes and bags, and me primarily on tech.

    Aka i buy whatever i want, not needing any acceptance from anyone.
     
  12. alanm

    alanm Ancient Guru

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    Didnt expect wife acceptance factor would apply to computers, but can understand if it involves finances and shared responsibility. I've often seen WAF as an issue when it applies to Hi-Fi audio, where the husband wants to buy huge speakers to put in the living room thus ruining the overall look and decor. And the wife would be like "No fcking way that is going in to the house!!"
     
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  13. anticupidon

    anticupidon Ancient Guru

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    This is where I was pointing out.
     
  14. AuerX

    AuerX Active Member

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    Bose figured that one out a while back..

    Also, the huge vintage sound system belongs in the home office :)
     
  15. SerotoNiN

    SerotoNiN Ancient Guru

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    I wish I would have done this. This man is a forward thinker. My Wife is pretty cool with most of my purchases, as in, I'm able to purchase. But she gives me crap about all of them.
     

  16. SerotoNiN

    SerotoNiN Ancient Guru

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    Wife had friends over this weekend. Wasn't supposed to involve me. Just a bunch of hens clucking. I was looking forward to some office time with some gaming. Well, one of them ended up bringing their boyfriend. This made me feel obligated to participate as I didn't want to leave the guy by himself with a group of women and also, I didn't want to come off like a dick. Not right away at least. They just got engaged. This poor bastard said he just wants a Nintendo Switch at one point in the night, and she kept telling him how he didn't need that. He works, they live together, he pays his half. Like...WTF?
     
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  17. AuerX

    AuerX Active Member

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    Some ppl are just controlling. Men and women.

    I try not to associate with ppl like that, its boring and tiresome.

    Life's short, don't let others drag you in to their nightmares :)
     
  18. Loobyluggs

    Loobyluggs Ancient Guru

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    There is only one thing that must be accepted:

    When in a relationship...you are no longer an individual with the responsibilities 'n' accountabilities tallies only for yourself.

    So - when you frack up, they frack up and when they frack up, you frack up.

    So long as remember this, you will find that, simply; you cannot make decisions...

    You arrive at conclusions, based on collective responsibility.

    If you do not like that...fine, but there is normally a queue around the block that will accept those terms for the chance to share ones life with another as one...
     
  19. rm082e

    rm082e Master Guru

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    Yep, this is certainly a factor for me. I work and my wife has been a professional Mom since we had our first 11+ years ago. She left her job in early 2009 and has raised our kids and homeschooled since then. She depends on me to bring in all the money and handle the finances appropriately. We are aggressive about saving and keeping the credit card paid off, so I've built plenty of good political capital so to speak.

    When it comes to discretionary spending, it's mostly about giving context and heads-up on things. She likes to buy stuff for the house and the kids, I like to buy electronics and home gym equipment. If either of us wants to spend some money, we explain the what, why and how much. I certainly tune my purchases to what seems reasonable and don't go all out very often. I think the last big one was our 75" TV. I spent a good chunk of cash on that and she gawked at the pricetag.

    So, when it came time to do the computer upgrades, I spread the purchases out over the course of a few months and bought upper-mid range parts, rather than balls out stuff. For her part, when she wanted new living room furniture, she didn't propose we spend $5k on new couches. She was reasonable with what she picked out and I got on board with it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2020
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  20. SerotoNiN

    SerotoNiN Ancient Guru

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    This was the first time I met the guy and usually, when my wife has her friends over I'm gaming. She's cool with that, doesn't expect me to sit there bored with a bunch of women. So this was a rare occasion for me. And a learning experience. She was extremely bossy to him. Told him what to do with just about everything. Yelled at how much he ate, he drank, how many times he went out to smoke. Like, why are you with this guy if you're so upset. Furthermore, we told him eat as much as he wants, the wife cooked a crap ton of food that would have went to waste. I don't smoke, but if I did or dated someone who did, there would have to be an understanding there to the time dedicated to do that too. I was pretty entertained at first and then got really annoyed.
     

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