Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by airbud7, Oct 16, 2017.
I like to think this was a joke.
OTOH it's too detailed, hmm...
Man, I am such a douchbag!!!!
I cooked on the grill for Memorial Day a standing rib roast, four corn on the cob (Mexican street corn) and as always a pack of hotdogs. In the garage was a-churning 6 quarts of homemade banana ice cream.
Douchbag comes in as I really meant to get pictures. Told my wife that my belly would prove it, while she agreed, she convinced me that it could possible bring the whole Internet down.
Same here JaxMacFL ....I slow cooked a Big beef roast/ forgot pictures...
Making my grocery list for tomorrows shopping at Food 4 Less. http://www.f4lfoods.com/index_r1_c1.jpg
Sure its a little higher than Wal-Mart but their meat department is amazing. They actually have real butchers that will cut meat to your specifications. Think I'll pickup some Oklahoma farm raised catfish and some thick pork steaks.
One for you Airbud?
Can't post the image for some reason
here's the link
One of my favorite late night munchie snacks.
Got the house to myself so...
Small homemade spaghetti for me tonight...
I like angel hair pasta better than regular spaghetti
yea WilliG....I love me some good jurky ...what meat you use? beef?
I've had some very good deer/venison jerky too
Chicken and pasta bake with melted cheese on top, washed down with a chocolate protein shake
Nice but that shake sounds awful
Shake's quite nice as far as they go, prefer getting it from meat but sometimes needs must, full of cold and got no appetite atm
DiGiorno pepperoni pizza with sliced jalapeno I picked this afternoon.
Totally agree that angel hair is the best for spaghetti.
I like to make massive "sandwiches" (if you could still call it this) by myself, they are loved by each member of my family. It's very easy to make them ... manlike, you know? *lol*
"Recipe" for one sandwich:
1 long bread, like Baguettes, Flutes or any other long bread thing you may find. You have to slice it in the middle, so do not choose anything with almost no height. More height = more stable later on.
Some "Cornichons" (Google translated to "gherkins", those sour ones in a jar, you know?)
Some eggs (depending on size of bread. the longer the bread, the more eggs you need to cover the whole lenght)
Some cooked ham
Some lettuce leafes
ketchup, mayo, mustard (mild to medium if your child or wife eats with you, hot mustard one if you like it but then only a few small "points")
A pan (for the eggs)
A sharp knife
Something to cut all stuff on (do not leave a cut mark anywhere in the kitchen or your wife will literally kill you)
Cut the bread in half so you get a top and a bottom piece. Flip the top and set it next to the bottom to put your stuff on it.
Cut the salad leafes in medium pieces / slices. Nothing is as shitty as getting a bite of some salad and ripping the whole sandwich apart with it.
Cut the sour "gherkins" in small slices (2 - 4 slices each depending on size), use enough to cover the whole lenght of the bread.
Cut the ham (it should be in slices when you buy it, so cut those slices to lenghty pieces, as these could rip your sandwich apart, too, like big salad slices)
Cut the onion in rings or "half rings".
Put those eggs in the pan and roast each one from both sides until the yellow yolk has hardened (it's a mess otherwise). This typically takes about 2 minutes for each side.
Mix ketchup, mayo and mustard to 1:1:1, so it gets one mass.
Putting it together:
Take the TOP of the bread and put your ketchup-mayo-mustard mix on it, take the knife to spread it evenly. Don't do too much. If you still have something left, you may put some bits on the bottom, too. !! But taking too much results in a "slippery" sandwich where all ingredients fall out. That's no fun to eat, trust me. !!
Take the bottom and put the ham on it, one full row until everything is covered..
Top it with salad, cover everything, too.
On top the eggs, covering another "line"
(optional) more ham and / or salad and / or eggs ("double decker" or more)
Put the "gherkins" (still feels like a term I do not use right ...) on top of this all
Top this with the onion rings / half rings (it will hold the gherkins a bit so they don't fall out so easily).
Flip the TOP bread and put it on the tower you built.
If you indeed do a double-decker (stacking ingredients) or more, I would recommend to put some of your ketchup-may-mustard-mix on each "new run". So for each "optional" step above put on some of the mix. Otherwise the sandwich gets too dry.
You could exchange the ham for a schnitzel, or compliment it by a schnitzel (do not take the ham away, just add the schnitzel). I do this almost all the time, but above is the "basic recipe".
It sounds like a lot of work, but basically it is "cutting the ingredients and stacking them up". If you are not used to this, probably you will need 10 minutes to make one. But the time for the next ones is minimal. The worst is the cutting, it takes the most time.
And sorry if you do not understand my recipe. I am German and a tech guy, so I had to "google translate" some cooking terms. If you are unsure what I meant, please ask me, I will be glad to answer and / or correct. And I live near the french border, so for me it is very easy to get a fresh baguette, but probably not for you.
My "record" so far:
a french 1 meter "flute" (a larger and broader baguette)
1 package of ham (abhout 200g)
half a salad
almost a glass of gherkins (about 500 - 600g)
about 500g of ketchup mix
3/4 of a can of corn (about 300 - 400g)
200g of Gouda cheese
200g of Cheddar (old, the mostly orange one)
a little bit of olive oil
Do you wanna know why I did not put olive oil in my recipe for you guys above? Because someone may get "problems" when not used to olive oil. Those problems require you to immediately tell the whole world how you feel about it .... on the toilet. A friend of mine tried it with me and he sat on the toilet for almost the whole day. So if you LIKE this oil or are USED to eat olive oil, feel free to add it. But do not say you haven't been warned when you see red lights and count from 10 to 0 backwards while running to the toilet. OK?
EDIT: Because somehow feeling unsafe about those "gherkins" I did another translation:
I mean those: https://www.smartseedstore.com/products/french-cornichons-pickling-cucumbers
Whoa guys, my wife made something new yesterday: Noodles with a sauce of cheese!!!!
It's even more easy than my sandwiches I guess. She told me it's basically three kinds of cheese, fried in a pan with some spices (pepper and something else I think) and cream, put on top of noodles. I try to get you guys the recipe if you like. It took her about 15 - 20 minutes to get it all done! (So it must be very easy!)
Btw.: Should we convert this to a "recipe thread"? Just take into consideration we all come from across the world and I bet my ass there are a lot of different recipes which are VERY tasty but due to local circumstances the recipe stays within a certain perimeter, you know?
I would love to see other recipes as I like it very much to cook or bake, especially together with my oldest daughter (5 yrs.). I always laugh my ass off if we prepare a salad and SOMEHOW ... MAGICALLY ... the "mice come out" to "steal" the ham, cheese and what else "they" may find ... . My daughter always tells me. "Dad, LOOK! The mice came out and stole another piece of cheese ... *chewing* We have to do something about that! *chewing* Can we cut the ham now? *chewing*"
I eat slop every night. Not really a foodie.