Vault of Fail Part 2 RTFM

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by vbetts, Sep 21, 2018.

  1. JaxMacFL

    JaxMacFL Ancient Guru

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  2. JaxMacFL

    JaxMacFL Ancient Guru

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    Went to my doctor today, 3 month checkup, comes with old age, 67 (or as I like to say, “47 and 240 months”).

    Anyway, he tells me, “I don’t want you to eat anything fatty.”

    I respond with, “You mean like pizza, ice cream and such?”

    He tells me, “NO FATTY, I DON’T WANT YOU EATING ANYTHING!!!”
     
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  3. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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  4. JonasBeckman

    JonasBeckman Ancient Guru

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    Not something you should use in cooking...or maybe it is.
    https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

    Also works in drinks apparently.
    https://www.amazon.com/Semenology-Bartenders-Paul-Fotie-Photenhauer/dp/1482605228

    Though I have a feeling someone was getting creative with sugar paste or other sticky fluid ingredients that cause endless pain and swearing trying to clean up when things inevitably go wrong. (Melted sugar for glue for example for certain creations.)

    Or I'm looking at it wrong and someone actually put the stabbing-board right on top of the cook plate before it had cooled down. It's just plastic isn't it? Boooring. :p


    EDIT: Thankfully there's instant food for when you want to avoid the worst incidents.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2018
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  5. fantaskarsef

    fantaskarsef Ancient Guru

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    Fail for the people doing it, and fail for the cops as they say "it's to small to look into" o_O
     
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  6. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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    Judging by the missing cooking plate someone did...
     
  7. JonasBeckman

    JonasBeckman Ancient Guru

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    Well it happens I suppose, even with the fancy lights and stuff modern ovens come equipped with along with safety features (Those knobs and dials can be pretty flimsy on some models if there's no lock function.) it's easy to forget or just the fun things the brain does with long term and short term and work memory and how easy it is to forget certain details and all.

    On the plus side while there are mishaps and mistakes learning about home cooking has made some really entertaining creations and I'm building up some good constitution too. :p
    (Coal grilled indeed. :D )

    Also learning about mult-tasking ha ha. Failure based progression I guess.

    And we get all these funny images and videos as a bonus too especially in this day of social media and sharing of everything.
    Well good thing it wasn't those old style iron stoves I suppose now that's some real heat compared to modern electrical plates.

    And I see what you mean I think, it's not that the iron coil there was removed and put on a cutting board for ease of cleaning what I thought was paste it's literally been ripped right out of the stove itself when the plate melted into and got stuck in the plastic board.


    EDIT: Funnily enough though while I am pretty terrible still with actual cooking I'm alright with baking. A few years and avoiding any critical incidents though and it will probably improve heh.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2018
  8. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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    Half apartments in Moscow (and overall in Russia I guess) are equipped with gas stoves. And since I have never lived in apartments with electrical stoves I prefer gas one - way more fast cooking (and ofc way more familiar).
     
  9. JonasBeckman

    JonasBeckman Ancient Guru

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    Yep they were common around here too before electrical versions slowly took over ranging from things like the above to induction although I don't know if it's about energy conserving or just how these work but I find them to take a while to get up to the heat required for what you want to do. Boiling water for example can take quite a while even for smaller amounts unless you dial it up to max but even that's going to be slower than the older models.

    More recent models might be better although now there's app stuff and extra functions and online connectivity. Going to be curious to see where this ends.
    (Service technicians will require IT training and learning how to remove crypto-miners from the all digital all connected home of the future ha ha. Not to mention adware and ransomware.)
     
  10. JaxMacFL

    JaxMacFL Ancient Guru

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    [​IMG][​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2018

  11. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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  12. Anarion

    Anarion Ancient Guru

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    Noticed that Netflix Japan has some interesting ad campaign going on... (Also on Twitter: https://twitter.com/netflixjp).

    [​IMG]
    They have that kind of stuff all over Shibuya. Finns probably find those funny (never seen anyone typo voittaa like that before).

    Let's fix that...
    [​IMG]

    The twitter stuff:
    [​IMG]
    That's some creative translating (makes me actually wonder which was the source language...). Also sitsurei? Simasu? (shitsurei/shitsuree or shimasu if you want to make Finn pronounce those correctly.)
    [​IMG]
    Long a and o should be just aa and oo. -ah and -oh aren't even close (because it will just sound like a+h or o+h). Since English speakers seem to have huge issues with those (and things like koko, kokoo, kokko), it probably work for them though. These were intended for joulupukki though (Japanin kielen kurssi joulupukille).

    No need for 僕は. The Finnish translation didn't have "minä" either.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2018
  13. HeavyHemi

    HeavyHemi Ancient Guru

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  14. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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    "There's a very concerning trend that whilst many people coming out of schools now are much more technology-savvy, they know how to use technology, fewer and fewer people are following the feeder subjects to know how that technology works under the covers."

     
  15. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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  16. sverek

    sverek Ancient Guru

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  17. sverek

    sverek Ancient Guru

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    Girl on the right aged much better :)
     
  18. JonasBeckman

    JonasBeckman Ancient Guru

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    This goes here I suppose, where else would it go.
    (Well from the medical reports things can go just about anywhere...)

    https://adequateman.deadspin.com/wh...year-1831046610/amp?__twitter_impression=true

    I'm sure all those explanations are perfectly valid.
    Now then, what will next years list be for top-objects of 2018 that never should go into the body.
     
  19. mbk1969

    mbk1969 Ancient Guru

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    @JonasBeckman
    Excellent choices!

    Imagine “PIECE OF GELATINOUS TOY THAT EXPANDS WITH WATER” not in the ear...
     
  20. JonasBeckman

    JonasBeckman Ancient Guru

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    Yep, they had quite a collection too going back to ER reports from 2010 though it quickly focused on a yearly list of things people inserted into body orifices and things people do to their schlongs and the explanations that followed.
    https://deadspin.com/tag/laughing-at-other-peoples-pain

    One way or another that ring was coming off, remember that the first idea isn't always the best idea. :)

    [​IMG]

    "Tis the season to be jolly, laugh at humans and their folly..."

    Pfft, I don't sing. I do laugh a lot though. :p
    (Seemed fitting at the moment, like sung but a group of angry vengeful little elves or something.)
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2018

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