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sykozis....gone?

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by sykozis, May 24, 2015.

  1. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    My purpose in life is to help people. That's what I've tried to teach my son to do as well. Now I've got friends that need help and this will give me an opportunity to try my best to help them. One suffers from epilepsy, PTSD and severe brain damage. The other, bipolar disorder and alcoholism. I'm trying to figure out how to help both without taking on too much. I can't possibly support 4 people so it could get a bit tricky. Ugh, such is my life.

    I won't be getting married again. The bipolar alcoholic, coincidentally, is actually the perfect woman for me. Yeah, I'm self-destructive....lol. She just gets me like nobody else ever has. She's an amazing friend though and helped me through an intensely tough time. I owe her a lot. Now, hopefully, I can return the favor. I love her to death and am extremely grateful for her friendship. Hopefully I'll get to see her soon. Just waiting for her to call and give me the info so I can go visit her in the psych facility. She had herself committed yesterday morning.
     
  2. Extraordinary

    Extraordinary Ancient Guru

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    Mate, as honourable as that is, that's trying to rescue people from a burning house by letting them into your own house which is also burning

    You really need to stop being selfless for a year, and be selfish (in the good sense) - fix yourself first so that you have something to help your friends with, trying to help people the same / worse off than yourself when you are struggling already will not help any of you - a sinking ship > rescued into another sinking ship only makes the ship heavier

    I don't know you or your circumstances other than what you post, but I'm not a saint, and am not living the life of Riley either, so I have quite a lot of real world experience in this sort of thing, you HAVE to fix yourself before you can help other people, no matter how good your intentions it won't work unless you are 100% stable mate, they'll just drag you down further, even though you love them and think you can help them

    I can't insist hard enough for you to tell them you'll be back for them, but you need to do this for yourself first

    1. - Fix you
    2. - Get son back and stabilise your life together
    3. - Once you are sorted with son - look at helping friends/girl, not before
     
  3. N0sferatU

    N0sferatU Ancient Guru

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    any way for them to link your real life with the social life online (e.g. here)? Anything posted on public space can be used against you. Just saying...anyways best of luck! :)

    Sounds like a rough time. :(
     
  4. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    Yeah, I get what you're saying. Unfortunately, I need both of these girls. Their names are Michelle and Megan. Michelle has brain damage. Megan is the alcoholic. Megan, despite her own issues, has done a lot to help me. I feel I owe it to her, to help her out as much as I can. I've already began to help her. I had a friend compile a list of AA meetings in her area. Next step is to make sure she can get to them when she gets home. Michelle will have to move in for me to help her. I'm not ready to take that step yet, nor can I legally do it yet. Time will always be an issue with her as we don't know yet how much longer she will actually live.

    Fortunately, there's no definitive way to directly link my personal and forum lives. I've been very good at keeping them separate.

    So far, we've got evidence to prove my wife is lying on every claim she's made. We've been very busy the last couple weeks. We've even issued subpoenas for both her father and her boyfriend as well as her medical and criminal records. We've got other witnesses that will testify to events and conversations that took place. The only issue left, really, is custody. A lot of our evidence from the divorce will carry over into the custody battle. Not a sure win, but we've put in the effort and collected all the evidence we possibly can. It's all up to the judge after that.
     

  5. Neo Cyrus

    Neo Cyrus Ancient Guru

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    Somehow I missed this thread. Stay strong, and good luck.
     
  6. IcE

    IcE Don Snow Staff Member

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    You can't help when your own life is falling apart around you. You simply cannot. Do not try. You'll just bring her down with you.
     
  7. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    With Megan, I've done all I can. Being an alcoholic myself, I can't be around her if she's drinking. All I can do is give her a list of meetings and assist in her getting to them. A friend of mine is actually the head of the local AA chapter, so he's provided me with a list of meeting places and times for the area she lives in. I'm not helping her directly as I'm trying to keep myself straight.

    With Michelle, it's going to be several months (to a year) before I can make arrangements to remove her from her current living situation. I'm not rushing anything with her. We have personal issues that need to be sorted first anyway and that's going to take time. She has severe brain damage resulting in memory loss and epileptic seizures. It's not easy to deal with for either of us. That's not something I just want to dive head-first into dealing with. I need time to figure out HOW to help her, aside from removing her from an emotionally and physically abusive situation. Being unprepared to help her properly could result in an even worse situation for both of us. I'm used to dealing with epilepsy, but memory loss due to brain damage is a new challenge that I need time to research.

    Trust me, I'm prepared for everything I'm dealing with. I know exactly how to proceed forward. Currently, I'm in the best shape of my life mentally and emotionally.
     
  8. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    As an update....

    We have a temporary custody order in place as of yesterday. Our parents (yes, her's and mine both) were given joint, shared custody of my son. They will have a "1 on, 1 off" custody schedule. We can only have phone contact with him during the days he's with the other's parents. She can have physical contact with him while he's at her parents' house. I get physical contact with him while he's at my parents' house and I can bring him home on those weekends if I'm off from work. There is a "zero contact" order concerning her boyfriend and my son. Since she has no other means of transportation, he can't leave her parents' house in her custody. Fortunately, this is only temporary. We're waiting to find out how long this custody order will be enforced. Her and her boyfriend have plans to move to Florida and take my son with them. This order will force them to change their plans. They expected to walk out of court with sole custody but all she got was essentially supervised visitation.

    I've also been slowly increasing my activity on the forum. Not sure how much I've missed over the last few weeks, but I'll catch up in time. I know I missed Pill getting banned. Such a shame.
     
  9. slickric21

    slickric21 Ancient Guru

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    Dude, I can only echo what the other guys have said. Rough times for you and i sincerely hope that you get the best outcome from these testing times that you can.

    Good luck mate with it all, you have been missed on the forum, hope better times are ahead for you
     
  10. pimp_gimp

    pimp_gimp Ancient Guru

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    I hope things get better for you Sykosis, I hope that your custody battle works out the best for all parties involved. Take it one day at a time and before you know it you'll be looking back this as some forgotten memory. Yeah, you missed Pill getting banned. I'm not sure what happened but most likely with him and his attitude he just got one too many infractions against him and the system auto banned him.
     

  11. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    I'm trying to avoid the wife as much as possible. She's been trying to mess with my head. She'll call one time wanting to be civil and discuss what's going on, then a few minutes later she's an utter bitch. She's been telling everyone she's the victim and that I've been abusive through our entire relationship, yet can't seem to tell anyone exactly HOW I've abused her. She claims she's scared of me, but has no issue entering the house alone with me. She thinks her boyfriend sitting outside in his car actually means anything. If I were truly abusive and she were truly scared of me, she wouldn't be willing to be alone in the house with me, even with him sitting in his car outside. While I was in the psych ward, she spent the week telling me that she wanted to go to marriage counselling. When I came home, she wanted to live here and date him. Not exactly normal behavior for someone who's scared of their spouse....

    But, you're right. Eventually this will all be a distant memory. For now, I'm happy she's gone. I've been asking her regularly for the last month to come get what's left of her personal stuff and she's constantly refused claiming to be too busy. Tonight, she demanded I let her into the house (against the instructions of my supervisor and my lawyer) to get her stuff. I've informed her parents that they're welcome to come pickup her stuff this evening, but neither her nor her boyfriend will be permitted on property for any reason. She has fits of rage, and I'm under order to maintain all property in the house. If she gets mad, she can easily damage property in the house resulting in me having to cover the cost of replacement. All this **** has already taken a toll on my wallet and she's out to do as much damage as possible. She even threatened to smash my N5....which she was informed charges would be taken out against her if she doesn't return it, in tact, at the appropriate time. I've tried to remain civil through this ordeal, but she seems to think the world revolves around her. I've been informed by guys at work that this is standard behavior for lying, cheating whores that want divorces.

    Fortunately, I have great friends that have stood by my side through everything. These days, they're more like family than friends. If I need anything, they come running. I'd just as soon die for them, as I would for my real family members. Can't ask for better friends than them. I've put them through hell the last month and they've stood by my side through all of it. When I came home from the psych ward, my wife went out on a date that evening and my friends spent the evening talking me down from a very bad place. Now my meds are working and those days are, for the most part, behind me. I still crash on occasion, but it's no where near as bad and a quick drive "through the country" sorts my head out just fine.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2015
  12. pimp_gimp

    pimp_gimp Ancient Guru

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    Man, she sounds like a real pain. Glad to see you're doing better and have a great support system to fall back on when **** hits the fan.
     
  13. Elder III

    Elder III Ancient Guru

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    Glad to hear you're doing better man. Try to stick to the positive attitude and be around others of the same mindset and you'll be fine. :)
     
  14. Alpha Prime

    Alpha Prime Banned

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    Women are bad omens. You just need a good one.
     
  15. deltatux

    deltatux Ancient Guru

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    Damn, it's a tough situation for sure. Hang in there mate, you'll pull through.

    deltatux
     

  16. airbud7

    airbud7 Ancient Guru

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    This^ Stay Strong Bro...
     
  17. Athlonite

    Athlonite Maha Guru

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    your personal health is more important than a forum bud take care get well and sorted and we'll see you when you choose to return
     

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