Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by dk_lightning, Sep 10, 2020.
As I wrote, look what popped up on my feed
Listen to this:
As you can gather from the posts of this thread, there are multiple ways of treating depression.
My recommendation would be to immediately find a professional to talk to and what's important here is to find someone that you can level with and that you feel a good connection with. Since depression is so personal and situational having the right person saying the things you need to hear right now is crucial to tipping the scales in your favor. You've fallen into a pit and your goal now is to slowly try to climb up which obviously is extremely difficult. The trick here is that you need a push, which is a mix of help from a pro, some medication to prevent you from falling back/deeper and your will to want to feel better. Don't forget that nobody or nothing can force you to feel better - you must want it or it will never work but be sure not to set your expectations too high or set unattainable goals. This is a delicate process which must take its time. Now about the medication, it's supposed to be a safety net and not something you rely on, that's just you fooling yourself. Just to repeat, you must WANT to do this and once you're feeling better get rid of the meds. Oh, one last thing is to make sure you're not influenced by social media or similar things since this is supposed to be your journey together with the therapist and you must build your own ground to stand on. Later, or even much later, you'll be confident enough to let other people, views, opinions influence you since you'll be much stronger than you are now. You'll also be ready to make mistakes but also to pick yourself up much quicker - and perhaps be a better judge and avoid making serious mistakes in the future.
Best of luck and remember to keep focus on ONE thing - getting better, everything else is secondary.
greetings from Australia
thanks for reaching out, looking at the varied responses you have received I hope you are still around, and found a way to see a future.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago, a place I never thought I would be in, my did helped himself when I was 13, and I had always resented that. Especially because I have a daughter myself, and a lovely wife #2 . Nevertheless I found myself not seeing a way out of my dire situation as it looked from my point of view at the time, and therefore wanted to end it.
I made a last attempt for help and luckily I was heard by my wife and Some friends, even my bosses, came to my aid.
I spoke to my doctor, and she told me about some local mental health services that were available.
speaking with them and then later with a specialist made a huge difference. I am not sure if you have anything available locally but if you do I hope they will be equally as good to you as they were here to me.
I went on some medication but also had the mental health unit check in on me from time to time.
I hope you have some support network where you are, that can support you.
I went on to learn about mindfulness, and would do what’s called a body scan when I would feel anxious.
it’s been three years and I now am very happy I didn’t go through with - yes, I am unemployed because of COVID-19 but it will pass and the sun will shine again
NB: I don’t watch the news or go on social media - it’s too depressing
I go out in nature for walks or cycle - do some exercise! Seek good company
Get help from a doctor and mental health specialist
wish you all the best
I have to admit - anti-depressants are a bit hit and miss - some makes you feel worse and some do make you feel better but it takes a little while for them to kick in.
but the alternative to not taking them can be a hell of a lot worse.
hang in there
So what are the issues, and what needs to be done? - your point of view, please.
PS Good psychotherapist (a step before psychiatrist) should create (together with you) an environment where you can replenish your missing energy.
If you want to feel worth then go out and be useful to others. Whatever it is, volunteer work or helping friends with projects etc.
Having some kind of creative outlet is probably good too.
Other than that I'd say seek professional help. You're not going to solve this on a forum, even as nice as we are here.
You came off easy there as a moderator already gave you a 3 point infraction + warning, I was just about to hand out a month temp ban and with one more violation a permanent one. I will not tolerate such language here on the forums, take this as a friendly warning please as I will not be handing out a second one..
Hi dk, I think you're in Scotland no? I am anyways and yeah many folks are depressed right now.
I do deliveries and meet many folks each day i'm telling you it's the rona blues, it'll pass.
Avoid toxic people
Stop doing things you don't like but you feel obliged to do them
Eat quality food
Have some physical activity
Treat every single small health problem directly without postponing the medical visit
Ask for professional help and continue using medication if suggested
Each small thing will give you a little push to get you out of the hole
Don't be harsh with your self and stop self blaming for doing 'mistakes'. Who defines 'correct' after all? Life is not a math exam.
Start taking care of your self as its is the most precious thing you have and be patient
It will repay you in the long run
I understand your need to talk mate, and by all means if it gives you the catharis you need then please feel free to do so but I suspect that this or in fact any forums is the wrong place to do it. While their are indeed many many folk in these forums who will try to give you some assistance you will also encounter way to many keyboard warriors who will use this as an opportunity to attack and be little you and this is 100% something that you do not need at this point in time.
Please, for your own sake if nothing else seek professional assistance, there are good people here and they will attempt to help you as you will have no doubt seen by some of the response you have already recievced but their are also an element who will attempt to belittle, downplay and negatively impact you, some will do it because they do not understand where you are coming from or the situation you are in, some will do it simply for sh*ts and giggles and THAT is something that a trained professional will never ever do.
If you were on the top floor of a 100 story building that's on fire; fire that is rapidly closing in on you, and your choices were to either jump or for you to be burnt alive... a slow and painful death - would anyone call jumping selfish? A lot of suicidal people feel the same way - it makes more sense to end it now than drag yourself to the finish line and face the same outcome.
I have been fighting my own personal demons this year, and this has taken significant toll on me. I have everything one could ask for, but my mind isn't at rest nonetheless. I think the thought of committing suicide is a very natural thought, but one must do everything they can to not do it...
Why you may ask? Simply because life is worth living. There is so much more that life offers - that isn't about stress, bills, relationship issues, job related problems etc - think about the good, kind people that you've yet to meet, the countries you haven't yet seen, the scenic views that will literally shape your perception of everything, the music that will dig deep into your soul... and travel, travel as much as you can, when you can where you can - may it be 100 miles away or 1,000 miles away. Travelling 'broadens the mind' and burst the bubble of negativity you have familiarized yourself with. And most importantly, live because you don't know the impact you will one day have on somebody else's life - it maybe as simple brightening the day of someone by being kind and generous of your time, or as complex as helping someone go through through the same things as you are, possibly a younger version of yourself who desperately seeks advise & guidance, and you're the perfect person for it. Helping someone, positively impacting their lives, is the the truest gift you can get out of this world.
The little advice I can give is join a gym and not for the social aspect, push yourself as hard as you can, it releases all kinds of natural feel good chemicals in your body and once you start seeing improvements a sense of reward.
My inbox is always open if you want to talk completely confidentially, it may take me a while to reply sometimes but I always will reply.
Here are some links that should bring a smile to anyone's face...
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/ (just lots a cute animals)
https://www.reddit.com/r/HumansBeingBros/ (restores your faith in humanity)
It's takes a little work but get a dog, best damn friend you will ever have and it's unconditional they love you just for taking care of them. I'm a huge, huge dog lover especially the big ones.. dogs that is. Dogs aren't for everyone but If your into them best thing you can do. I'm not a big talker either it seems you start talking to someone and next thing you know your talking about there problems. Peace & take care.
I would love to get a pet, cat or small doggo but I can barely afford my rent let alone afford a pet right now.
In an effort to help my self I have just quit my job. They wont let me do the job I want there and its kinda a long story. Only been doing 12 hours ish a week there since they re-opened last month. I am 100% not happy doing what they wanted so thought it was best to just call it quits with them and find something im at least somewhat happy doing.
Once I am back to work again I guess I can work on other thing. I need to get back on track with my meds for my heart and diabetes, Currently I don't take them.
Well said. None of us asked to be born.
OP, it’s good sign you are reaching out instead of hurting yourself. That tells me you want to resolve conflict instead of self sabotage. It already isn’t as bad as it could be. Not that it’s a consolation just factual observation. It wasn’t about not giving up or not imo but finding what made me suicidal & making an extreme life choice that could I dunno “counter” that if that makes any sense? Lost family, lost kids, lost a great job and I ended up in a psych ward. Not a particular high point in my life eh heh heh’ Met a flight attendant in there, all sorts of people... crap happened was a guy that was in a wheelchair for the stuff he had done to himself and another guy that would bark all night long. All night. You would not get any sleep. Never could understand what he was saying. But he just yelled... all night. I remember leaving that place thinking “I’m buying a gun next time I try to kill myself” in some ways I felt more motivated and kind of got my sense of humor back in the nut house. Guess my point of that drivel was listen man - you are going to run into low points and if you just stretch your self beyond areas you never imagined or let go and allow life to tear you apart (I know sucks) and just survive the ordeal long enough. You just might - find situations, people, and circumstances that come into play and make it all worth living. Life is not perfect by any means but to be fair in 2012 I lived in Australia had a house two very small children, a girlfriend and a great job. All gone in under a year. I left & moved to Hawaii hoping it’d help me forget. Been single since but landed another good job in the islands. Was in a bad accident, had nerve damage from that tried to off myself (psych ward) chronic nerve pain... lost my job and moved to AZ. That was 2015 & pretty much like the death of my career.
5 years ago and the most depressing agonizing years of my life. 5 years of clawing and scratching every nook rung crevice and cranny to basically get back aspects of jobs, professional experience etc. I’m sure some here can relate. All while the economy got better (yeah right). Recently while doing some odd 400 or so job applications in a weekend (as usual) as my standards are like dog walker at this point... I was hired on at Intel. I don’t know how to explain ... my feeling at that time. Joy. Fear. Shame. Sorrow. I just wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. I don’t know what to tell you @dk_lightning Im a college student (despite being older than most) I take acting classes (it’s fun) and yeh. I am trying not to put my eggs into one basket. @insp1re2600 Is right, a hobby really does help. Also there’s nothing wrong with asking your physician about prescription medication and the possible side effects, risk/benefit factors involved. I take Cymbalta. I am fine. My acting teachers husband took it, he was not. Case in point.
Edit: forgot. You brought up your Nan and I was gonna say I could relate in a sense. I finally get a break in life. My grandmother was the person I most respected in my family. She passed. I’m happy for her. I just hope to god she didn’t die thinking “is he ever gonna get out under life’s thumb” then a week later things start getting better. Life must have a sadist for a personality. Anyways.
Good move quitting job, it was a brave move, I usually resort to temper tantrums and 'mini-meltdowns'. Exercise is important, you could try herbal *SPAM* (*SPAM* buds) if that's your kinda thing, it's certainly mood lifting. Above all else don't let the bastards get you down. Just be yourself.
I have been down in the dumps before, but know that times get better and as others said a lot of people are feeling the blues considering the situation.
I really to hope you get out of this hole you are in.
All the best DK.
DK if you don't acknowledge my well wishes, I am going to get very upset and you don't want to see me upset ya weeeee numpty.
You have to help yourself if you want help. Such as taking your heart and diabetes meds. Staying on an anti-depressant (careful, some make you suicidal) and getting help as well as maintaining a positive out look. If you don't take care of yourself, you're part of the problem. I cried about my life for years and did nothing to improve it. Then I finally did. I still struggle, but eh. Not as bad. There's always someone worse.
I was feeling bad for myself one day, driving in my neighborhood, while driving and having a pity party I look over and there is this kid...can't be more than 15. Maybe younger. And he's sitting in his garage with his pop but here's the thing. He's all messed up. He's belted into a chair, a disability chair, arms all messed up, head turned, looked like his neck wouldn't let him straighten it. Kid had a huge smile on his face. And I thought, what the frack do I have to feel bad about? Yes, we are all different people and we handle things a certain way, but if we are mentally and physically able to change them there's no reason or need to dwell on them. Dwelling wastes time. That kid can't take a pill and feel better. You can. What you choose to make of your life and your out look of it is up to you. No one else. Talking is good. Just try to ground yourself with the realization you could be strapped to a chair. Life can be hard sometimes. Not saying it can't be. Find the right focuses and don't sit and only think of negatives. It takes work.