Suicide - How talking helps?

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by dk_lightning, Sep 10, 2020.

  1. dk_lightning

    dk_lightning Maha Guru

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    I need to speak about this somewhere and been a member here for many years so seems like as good a place as any. Better to get multiple views from people.

    My life has been one mistake after another or one tough break after another. Everytime things start getting better something comes and screws it all up or I do something stupid to screw it up.

    There maybe a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak but its so far away I can't see it any more.
    They say talking about your problems and why you might be wanting to end your life will help but I do not see how. I know what my issues are, I know what needs to be done to fix it but I just do not have it in me anymore to do it. I am so drained, in every way.

    Been single for 10+ years, my health has been getting worse and worse over the years, bills and debts galore, A job i hate that i just quit, My nan just passed away unexpectedly and the only thing left to keep me going is the thought of how my parents would feel if I did kill myself. I have taken multiple overdoses of meds over the years.... When I think about my future I see nothing in it for me, A sad lonely man with nothing to live for.

    When you look online for help its all about talking to someone about how you feel etc, how is that going to help me exactly as I can't see it. I have a life full of regrets and mistakes and I see no way forward.

    /end
     
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  2. Undying

    Undying Ancient Guru

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    Jesus man you think its picnic for others? This year has been awful many crap is happening around the world but you have focus on the little things, things that makes you happy even something trivial like gaming.

    Im waiting for the gallblader operation feeling sick, sad and lonely lately but its not the end of the world. Not even once came to my mind to kill myself, far from it. Instead i know better days are coming and im looking forward to it.
     
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  3. Dragam1337

    Dragam1337 Ancient Guru

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    My best advice would be to seek a psychiatrist, who could get you on anti depressants - talking only helps with light depressions, and it sounds like you got a rather severe depression, much like myself after my GF left and my father died.
     
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  4. emperorsfist

    emperorsfist Maha Guru

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    Hmm, some of the points you mention kinda hit home for me as well. I have made my share of mistakes over the years, and some have impeded my own progress in life. At the same time, have never thought of self harm in any fashion. I mostly reserve that for extremes like possibly being swallowed up by dementia.

    I would recommend you to seek professional help, if you feel that your situation is this severe. There┬Ęs no shame in it. Just steer clear of shysters and magical faith healers that like to prey on the vulnerable.
     
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  5. dk_lightning

    dk_lightning Maha Guru

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    No. I do not. I know very well that others have their own issues, be them worse or not but our problems are individual to us and we all handle them differently. Downplaying or undermining someone else issues is not the way to help like you just did, even i know that in my current state. I would never us that line on anyone who was having a hard time "Jesus you think its a picnic for others?"
     
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  6. dk_lightning

    dk_lightning Maha Guru

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    I have been taking 50mg of sertraline the past 4 weeks and while it did help it seems to have stopped doing anything for the past 2 weeks. GP has recommended I keep with them for now and if things are still not working well in another 2 weeks to call back.

    I was on prozac as a teen but that stuff just makes you numb.
     
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  7. Solfaur

    Solfaur Ancient Guru

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    I know where you're coming from, it's been more or less the same for me in my life, and I think there are actually loads out there in the same boat. However, the thing that helped me was focusing on one thing and that was fixing my health. Got into working out about 10 years and it's been the best anti-depressant ever. All the negative energy that you can transfer into a positive purpose, it really is great. And you don't have to go balls to the wall heavy weights, you can start with as little as taking short walks every day and work yourself up. A healthy mind needs a healthy body.

    That being said, it's not a magic cure, I mean I'm still a single, socially awkward, with a very uncertain job... and have my own suicidal thoughts from time to time. Bottom line is death/suicide is easy and always the easy "answer"/"option", the hard part is the living. And when I look at others, who have it way, way worse then me and still not give up, it motivates me. And believe me, I know it's easier said than done, and there are times when I feel so shitty, that I feel like nothing matters, but I guess that's part of life.

    As for talking to someone, if you're socially awkward like I am, it's not so easy and it might be best to try to work it out yourself. But if you can find a really good professional, I guess that it's an option too. Yet I still think it's best for the long run when change comes from within, even if that means a longer/harder road.
     
  8. Undying

    Undying Ancient Guru

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    Suicide is the most selfish thing you can do. Thinking only about your problems and leaving others behind is not the right way.
     
  9. emperorsfist

    emperorsfist Maha Guru

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    Shut it, or at least piss off and go do something more useful than shitting on people.
     
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  10. Undying

    Undying Ancient Guru

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    Yeah, this is probably not helpful on my part even though i wish for the best.
     

  11. Dragam1337

    Dragam1337 Ancient Guru

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    Ok doctor. Oh wait, you are not a doctor? Gee what a surprise.

    Sounds like you are one of those religious morons...
     
  12. insp1re2600

    insp1re2600 Maha Guru

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    been on 200mg of sertraline for a couple of years, yeah they do help, ask to increase the dose. Stay off the booze, that always causes an issue.
    I never found talking helped, what i did find help is focusing on a hobby as much as i could.

    Ive been through a few long single patches, now im married with a kid, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up.
     
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  13. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    I am no professional, here are my suggestions.

    Go for a walk in a park, or go hiking.

    If you like cats or dogs, play with one, like a friends pet or neighbors pets.

    Spend time with parents.

    Get rid of negativity. Focus on the good things in life. Hope it helps
     
  14. TekkMarine

    TekkMarine Maha Guru

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    Plenty of studies to show that long term use or even immediate use of anti-depressants causes suicidal thoughts.

    Also sorry to hear that your girlfriend left you and that your father died.

    A doctor tried to prescribe them to me when i was kid, my parent's even told me to take them but i told em all you can shove em up your ass.
     
  15. dk_lightning

    dk_lightning Maha Guru

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    err what did he do????
     

  16. SpajdrEX

    SpajdrEX AMD Vanguard

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    That's why doctor (at least from what I experienced) ask if you had any suicidal thoughts when taking specific anti-depressants and if you do, they change it to different anti-depressants.

    @dk_lighting : I'm sending towards you some positive energy, catch it ;)
     
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  17. Repo Man

    Repo Man Ancient Guru

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    I can absolutely vouch for this as it always does great things to my mood. The great thing about nature is that it doesn't judge you and accepts you as you. Sounds a bit trippy-hippy but its true. Try and go as early as possible in the morning when it's quiet and then watch the world come alive on your way home.

    few other things I would recommend are:

    - Get off social media if you haven't yet.

    - Stop following the news as it's easy to start feeling like all the worlds issue are on your shoulders.

    - Treat yourself with something that can boost your confidence, be it a new haircut or a new fragrance that makes you smell like the boss. A seemingly small thing like this can give your mood a great boost.

    - Don't look at your problems as a whole, instead try to break them down to smaller chunks and chip away from them one by one. It's easier to deal with a big problem when you haven't got 10 small ones weighing you down.

    - Medication does help but they aren't a magic solution. You need to work with them for the best results.

    Best of luck, I wish I could be of more help. Please speak to your doctor or call the samaritans if things take a turn for the worse.
     
  18. Dragam1337

    Dragam1337 Ancient Guru

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    Nothing, Tekk is just one of those brainwashed morons who believe that medication is the root of all evil... he should probably be in the looney bin together with tom cruise and the rest of scientology.
     
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  19. Astyanax

    Astyanax Ancient Guru

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    misdirected agression, he obviously meant to mention dragam.

    you should try a prevention hotline, you can often say a lot more to a complete stranger then you can people you know.
     
  20. anticupidon

    anticupidon Ancient Guru

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    Without even knowing, you made a small change for the better. Opening up, realizing the issue is the path to solve it.
    Now, we can offer advice and support, guidance and all. But IRL after you close your session here on this forum or whatever place you go, you'll be with yourself and your life.

    To change, to get out of the comfort zone is where the problem starts to solve itself.
    If we say: Get out and meet people! Easy to say, difficult if you are shy, introvert. But as hard as it sounds, you need to meet people. And some are naturally born to listen and offer support.

    I would go and volunteer in some center, you'll be amazed how quickly you find people willing to talk, have a drink after work or smoke a joint. Whatever floats you boat, unwinding with some buddies is what beats loneliness and stress.

    Now, you can also have a pet. Adopt a cat or a dog. Pets are giving unconditional love and affection and have a happy pet greeting you when you get home it's something that keeps you going.

    Write. It is the most intimate way of dealing with disturbing thoughts and reading what you wrote can be a mind and eye opener. It's like having a chat with yourself, a subconscious self. Dealing with your demons needs to be private and confidential.
    Keep a diary and count the days when you were happy, and strive for getting more of those days.

    Consider long walks, if pumping iron or running are not you things. Walking long distances are therapy in itself. Your shrink? Nature, surrounding you.
    My very early walks on the beach were the catalyst for getting motivated and go over my dark days in the past.
    Also, walking before going to bed is the best you do for your body. Having said that, sleep is very if not the most important thing in the whole ordeal.
    You bedroomm have to suffer a radical change: no gadgets before sleep. Book, yes.

    Don't concentrate your life and time around you computer, spend only the justified necessary time at the computer. Yes, gaming can help also too much gaming is unhealthy and non productive. And you are missing opportunities happening just when you are gaming.

    Good luck and keep this thread updated. We are here to listen!
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2020
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