Should I Quit On My Little Cousin (He Wont Stop Smoking)

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by Clawedge, Sep 5, 2016.

  1. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    He is 17, smoking since he was around 13, he got into a bad crowd.

    I have tried scaring him, threatening him, bribing and encouraging him. He wont stop.

    I got him nicotine gum, he tried one, and then never used it again.

    I tried to have him fill a chart so i can keep track, he did it a bit, then said he doesnt want to anymore.

    I feel like saying f*ck it, do whatever you want.

    Any advice?
     
  2. Extraordinary

    Extraordinary Ancient Guru

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    Leave him to it, at that age it would be almost impossible to convince/force him to stop if all the above has failed, probably just end up falling out with him in the end

    You'd have never got me to stop at 17 either

    Stopping smoking is one of those things that the person has to want to stop on their own, or it will never happen

    I'd say you've done your part, nothing to feel guilty about, and plenty of time for him to do it himself
     
  3. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    My concern is that if he doesnt quit now, he will smoke for the rest of his life.
     
  4. PhazeDelta1

    PhazeDelta1 Moderator Staff Member

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    Let it go and let his parents deal with it. You can't force someone to stop something if they don't want to.
     

  5. rflair

    rflair Don Commisso Staff Member

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    He is 17, indestructible, death is the farthest thing from his mind.

    It is good you have concern but he has to want it.
     
  6. Extraordinary

    Extraordinary Ancient Guru

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    Possibly will, not really anything anyone can do about that, but I started when I was about 15, and quit when I was 25, smoking is just part of growing up if you hang about in those sorts of crowds as some of us did, 17 is young, you can still fight the world, you are still invincible, give it a few more years and that wears off

    But at the end of the day, it's his own choice, trying to force people to change for your own reasons never ends well, got to let him make his own mistakes and hopefully learn from them

    I'd say you've given him enough education to know the dangers by now, hopefully it will sink in eventually

    One of the best ways to feel bad about smoking is when noone else you knock about with smokes, and they all think it stinks and that you're dumb for doing it, peer pressure in reverse
     
  7. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    PhazeDelta1 - his dad gives him cigarettes.

    rflair - yeah he is stubborn as hell

    Extraordinary - you have a point, i guess i will have one last chat with him and let him know i wont be there to stop him from smoking. It will break my heart but i did try like crazy man. I really did.

    Thanks everyone.
     
  8. Extraordinary

    Extraordinary Ancient Guru

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    You never know, telling him you're not going to try stopping him any further might put him on a guilt trip, but remembering being 17 myself, it might not last long

    Good luck
     
  9. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    Extraordinary - i now what you mean

    Geryboy - you are right, wh have had arguments, and i have always backed down, and bit my lip so freaken hard. I have held back so much, and if i continue, i will blow my top someday, thats why i made this thread to get some feedback.

    So yeah i will have one last calm chat with him, and let it go.
     
  10. fantaskarsef

    fantaskarsef Ancient Guru

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    Leave him be. Teenagers can't think straight (clinically proven), you're trying to talk to a wall. Best thing would be, get him a girlfriend that's super hot and wants him to stop. Problem solved.
     

  11. AsiJu

    AsiJu Ancient Guru

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    You can't know that.

    Yes, the sooner you quit (or don't start at all) the better but like said he has to want to quit and before he does, nothing you or anyone else do or say will make him quit.

    Talking from personal experience here.

    Chances are the more you intervene the more he wants to smoke just to show "he is his own boss". Especially at that age.

    But I noticed you said he was around bad company. Is this still an issue?
    Maybe try and encourage him to pick his friends better. However doing that is just as hard as telling him not to smoke.

    Your best bet may indeed be to just ignore it. Maybe that will make him think as someone who used to care suddenly "doesn't" anymore.
    The cold shoulder may be an effective way. Depends on a lot of things though, no easy answers here.

    ^ or that :D
     
  12. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    he is no longer with that (smoking) crowd. and he DOES have a hot girlfriend who wants him to quit as bad as i do.

    anyway, i had a chat with him last night, and i said my peace.

    Ill keep an eye on him, but i wont push him anymore.

    Thanks eveyone.
     
  13. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    That's really the best thing to do at this point. You have no idea what decisions he will make down the road. It's quite possible that if you keep pushing him on this one issue, he may begin to resent you and make worse decisions later just to spite you.
     
  14. machete

    machete Active Member

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    at that age.. u cant stop it.. i would suggest giving him a vaporizer. i also started at age 13. im 35, ive been off cigarette for 3 years now cause of vaporizer.. vaporizers do work.
     
  15. MayaHaveADrink

    MayaHaveADrink Member

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    Leave him to the smoking. Don't be judgemental or make him feel awkward about smoking when you're around or talking to you about it. Accept him for who he is at the moment. Listen to what he has to say about things. You want to be the person he comes to talk to if he gets into anything else more dangerous. Not the person he hides stuff from.
     

  16. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    "You want to be the person he comes to talk to if he gets into anything else more dangerous. Not the person he hides stuff from."

    thanks MayaHaveADrink.
     
  17. drac

    drac Ancient Guru

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    Talk to the parents. Convince them, not him. :thumbup: and the girlfriend.
     
  18. Clawedge

    Clawedge Ancient Guru

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    His parents are separated, so i took him in, his girlfriend also wants him to quit.

    He is making steady progress though. i will keep my eyes on him (from a distance)
     
  19. Corrupt^

    Corrupt^ Ancient Guru

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    This might be the middle ground you and his GF could propose. Quitting is obviously better, but I started vaping after 10 years of smoking and I can already breathe deeper into my lungs again.

    He'll also smell better (might be a concern for the gf).

    Just 1 piece of advise, don't start with 6 mg, start with like 12 or even 18 and then gradually tone down. Seen to many people that started vaping and then went back to cigarettes because they didn't get their fix due to simply starting at a way to low value of nicotine.
     
  20. biggerx

    biggerx Ancient Guru

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    I didn't quit til I was 26. Had been smoking since 13.
     

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