Sex is man's best friend!

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by Klay, Apr 22, 2001.

  1. Klay

    Klay Member Guru

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    Usually everyone who has a dog calls him Rover or something. I call mine ``Sex''.<br>
    Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said I was looking for Sex. My court case comes up next Thursday.<br>
    One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said ``I would like to have one too!'' When I said ``But this is a dog'' he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said ``You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years old.'' He replied ``You must have been a strong boy.''<br>
    When I decided to get married I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said ``But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex.'' He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would notmarry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church.<br>
    My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the Motel is for Sex. Then I said ``You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night'' and the clerk said ``Me too.''<br>
    One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said ``Show off.'' I told him it was a contest and he told me I should have sold tickets.<br>
    When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said ``Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married'' and the Judge said ``Me too.'' When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he said ``Me too.''<br>
    Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for. Why just the other day when I went for my first visit with the psychiatrist and she asked me ``What seems to be the trouble'' and I replied, ``Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely.'' The doctor said ``Look Mister, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Why not get yourself a dog.''<br>
     
  2. Hilbert Hagedoorn

    Hilbert Hagedoorn Don Vito Corleone Staff Member

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    Hehehe <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif">
     
  3. Robsal

    Robsal Guest

    HAHAHA , that's one hell of a joke <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> . Is it alright if I forward it in an email to all my mates (just thought I'd check first , some people don't like it when that happens <IMG SRC="smileys/wink.gif">? <br>
    <br>
    <IMG SRC="smileys/hot.gif"> Robsal <IMG SRC="smileys/hot.gif">
     
  4. Klay

    Klay Member Guru

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    no problemo Rob! <IMG SRC="smileys/approve.gif">
     

  5. Vincent MacLeod

    Vincent MacLeod Ancient Guru

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    hihihihihohohohohahahahahuhuhuhuhehehehe <IMG SRC="smileys/smile.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/bounce.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/hot.gif">
     
  6. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold Guru of 3D Bartender

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    lol @ klay <IMG SRC="smileys/approve.gif">
     
  7. Aris

    Aris Master Guru

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    Yeah, a really clever joke <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <br>
    I'm still laughing <IMG SRC="smileys/giggle.gif">
     
  8. Robsal

    Robsal Guest

    Thanks Klay <IMG SRC="smileys/wink.gif"> <br>
    <br>
    -Robsal
     
  9. stealthmaker

    stealthmaker Ancient Guru

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    good one man.... <IMG SRC="smileys/wave.gif">
     
  10. Vincent MacLeod

    Vincent MacLeod Ancient Guru

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    Aris how u get that laughing icon? <IMG SRC="smileys/tongue.gif">
     

  11. Aris

    Aris Master Guru

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    Click on faq
     
  12. Aris

    Aris Master Guru

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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Aris:<br>
    <b>Click on faq</b><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><br>
    It's on top of the page at your right hand
     
  13. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold Guru of 3D Bartender

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    thanx dude
     
  14. Cyberius

    Cyberius Guest

    <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> HAHAHAHAHA!!!! <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <br>
    <br>
    OH MY GOD MAN...IVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE!!!!<br>
    <br>
    <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> HEHEHE <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="smileys/biggrin.gif"> <br>
    <br>
    Thanx Klay.....<br>
    <br>
    --==ÐêMøÑïzèÐ P§¥ÇhØ==--<br>
    <br>
    ----------------------------------------------------<br>
    "We may have lost the battle, but we've won the war"<br>
    ----------------------------------------------------
     
  15. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold Guru of 3D Bartender

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    Demonized dude, don't laugh too hard, bad for your heart.....and Soul
     

  16. LordMoses69

    LordMoses69 Master Guru

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    lol, i like that one
     

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