Post the funniest product reviews you've read.

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by Whiplashwang, Aug 21, 2014.

  1. Whiplashwang

    Whiplashwang Ancient Guru

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  2. Agonist

    Agonist Ancient Guru

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    Seriously, by far the funniest thing I have ever read for a review. I rarely cry from laughing hard but this had my sides hurting and tears from it.
     
  3. Andrés

    Andrés Ancient Guru

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    Well now that I read it, it's officially the funniest review I ever read :D
     
  4. Pzykotik

    Pzykotik Ancient Guru

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  5. southamptonfc

    southamptonfc Ancient Guru

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  6. Tat3

    Tat3 Ancient Guru

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    So far none of those reviews have managed to make me smile... Perhaps it's because of cultural differences.
     
  7. Labyrinth

    Labyrinth Ancient Guru

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  8. drandiiski

    drandiiski Maha Guru

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    Found on 9gag a few days back.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. southamptonfc

    southamptonfc Ancient Guru

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    Do Finish people have a sense of humour? Tell us a good reindeer joke!
     
  10. Extraordinary

    Extraordinary Ancient Guru

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    Veet Hair Removal Cream Review
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/RMSBINADT0S6S

    -------------
    Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)

    After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.

    I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

    At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.
    Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .

    Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.

    This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

    Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)
     

  11. southamptonfc

    southamptonfc Ancient Guru

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    Who could forget the vibrating Harry Potter broomstick?

    [​IMG]


    GREAT TOY!, June 11, 2002 - Amazon.com Reviewer: "My 12 year old daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, and loved the part with the Nimbus 2000, so I decided to buy her this toy. I was afraid she would think it was too babyish, but she LOVES this toy. Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick! A great buy for any Harry Potter fan!" Ashley from TX

    Keep the batteries out!, December 26, 2001 - Amazon.com Reviewer: "A toy enthusiast from NJ; This toy was #1 on my daughter's Christmas list. So what the heck, although it has no educational value I figured it would be good for imaginative play. It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized that the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and ***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come on---what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed."

    Excellent!, June 11, 2002 - Amazon.com Reviewer: "When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I recommend this for all children."

    Harry Potter Toy, August 28, 2002 - Amazon.com Reviewer: "I recently bought this for my son, Vantro. He's a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Seen the movie 32 times (in the theaters) and made the paper. This toy gives him the ability to fly around the house zapping things. My only problem I see with the toy is the batteries drain too fast and his sister fights him over it, so now I need to buy her one." A toy enthusiast from Maine, USA
    Harry Potter Toy, November 8, 2002 - MethodShop.com Reviewer: "Suppression! What is wrong with little girls getting a little stimulated? Why send a dirty review to Amazon hoping to discourage them from selling this? Do you think little girls are not already playing and exploring with things down there? Maybe something like this will make them more comfortable and confident about their sexuality instead of embarrassed and fearful. I say every girl should have one! "
    Perverts!, September 4, 2002 - Amazon.com Reviewer: "I was walking to work today through Times Square, and one of the Adult Sex shops was selling this "toy" for $40. I wasn't sure exactly why, so I did a search on the internet and found a page on Amazon.com selling the item. Now that I know this is a "VIBRATING" broom stick that you are suppose to place between your legs, it makes more sense. The people who work at Mattel are such perverts."

    Kinky, Feb. 27, 2003 - MethodShop.com User: "As soon as I saw it on Amazon.com, it hit me to buy it before they were all gone. I got it a few days later, and wasted no time in turning it into a sex toy for my g/f. Although the vibration isn't that stimulating (for an 18y old at least), seeing a woman get herself off with a vibrating harry potter broom is kinky enough to turn any guy off, and with a little encouragement, it doesn't take long for the woman to get off. All in all, its the kinkiest sex toy I have seen anywhere." Chris

    Read more: http://www.methodshop.com/gadgets/reviews/potters-stick/index.shtml#ixzz3B1n1zgGg
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2014
  12. Trasher

    Trasher Member Guru

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    No, we do not have a sense of humor
     
  13. Extraordinary

    Extraordinary Ancient Guru

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    You're good at rally driving iirc
     
  14. Anarion

    Anarion Ancient Guru

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    ^^


    Finish? :nerd:

    I have to say that I don't remember ever hearing a a reindeer joke. (Entäs te?) However... I do remember reading how some people from UK were so disgusted that we eat Rudolf's friends here...
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2014
  15. southamptonfc

    southamptonfc Ancient Guru

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    Sorry, Finnish :)

    I don't find that disgusting. We regularly eat cat, dog, rat, whatever is kicking around the back of these shops at closing time:

    [​IMG]

    Seriously, I'm sure reindeer is nice. I like deer as long as it's fresh, I hate it when it's hung.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2014

  16. eclap

    eclap Banned

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    I wouldn't worry about that, English are a bit set in their ways, lot of them don't have a clue about other than English cuisine. They frown upon a lot of good food.
     
  17. AndreasGuido

    AndreasGuido Ancient Guru

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    This is top Q&A for that 4k samsung TV

    Will the Amazon drone deliver this?
    Actually, I believe that Optimus Prime will deliver it for you and have Bumblebee set it up for you...
     
  18. BigBlockTowncar

    BigBlockTowncar Ancient Guru

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    It's old....

    I found that every once in a while when I would read a witty review it was ok.....but ever since that first guy had the idea to review the wolf moon t-shirt, people go looking for dumb products to leave reviews on.
     
  19. Tat3

    Tat3 Ancient Guru

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    Well, IMO from 1min to the end this is just the best kind of humour :D



    EDIT: It's highlights from 2011 IIHF World Championship Final where Finland won Sweden 6 - 1
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2014
  20. Anarion

    Anarion Ancient Guru

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    That certainly makes a Finn smile. ;)
     

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