Lost my wife

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by maikai, Jul 15, 2011.

  1. FaM

    FaM Ancient Guru

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    Your strength will come out of the need to support your kids, you do need to grieve but being strong for the kids is and not leaving them is what any mother would want. Talk to the army, reassign or get leave, if thats not working talk to the media, make it known enough where you can get some help with it. I have a feeling that the stresses of keeping your composure wont allow you a lot of time to grieve right now and it just means you will grieve for a longer period of time and thats ok. At ages 3 and 1 the kid's are a sponge to what they will be when theyre older, be strong enough to show infinite patience and it will take strength to keep this together but between you, your family, friends, church etc I know you can do this.

    Good luck and Im sorry you had to go through this.
     
  2. Dahzeal33

    Dahzeal33 Ancient Guru

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    This. I said a little prayer for you. Keep your head up.
     
  3. lmimmfn

    lmimmfn Ancient Guru

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    i really dont know what to say, i cant imagine what its like, try your best to be strong for your kids sake.

    My heart goes out to you man.
     
  4. The General

    The General Ancient Guru

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    I am a little confused, what happen to your wife?
    The title says you lost your wife, but you didn't mention how she died, all you said your electric is off and the real father of one of your kids that you were taking care of , came back and took him away ( um have you tried going to the courts for that ) ? But what happen to your wife?
     

  5. maikai

    maikai Maha Guru

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    thanks everyone for the positive thoughts, its great to know that there are good people still on this earth. to those familiar with the military ive already been compassionately reassigned but only for a year, thats why i said if after a year i dont have something in place i will be out of a job, right now with the economy still as bad as it is i cant imagine if in a year im out of work what me and my kids will do. i guess i try not to think about to much, and then at times i find myself wondering if im thinking too much anyway. its just when everything you do in life and every goal and direction you had included the love of your life and the dreams you shared together, i feel completely lost and hopeless. also somoene mentioned talking to like a psychiatrist or something and im starting to think i need to. my wife was my best friend, my entire world. so honestly other than my kids im alone.
     
  6. Postalisback

    Postalisback Ancient Guru

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    Try talking to a psychologist, I think that may help in your situation more than a psychiatrist. :thumbup:
     
  7. Chillin

    Chillin Ancient Guru

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    Makai, ask to be reassigned to a local unit on a regular basis. Ask the army to fund you through college (get a good degree that you can use after the army) and that you will serve on X amount in compensation.

    Stay strong.
     
  8. slick3

    slick3 Ancient Guru

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    Damnnn broo, i honestly don't know what to say to you but to hang on tight. I myself have been really really close to losing everything i had, house, money and job withing a week ... It turned out to be a miracle that I came across the right people at a crucial time. I don't know why terrible things happens in life sometimes, but i have to believe that something good will come out of this ... Don't look too close at the situation you are in, put everything in perspective, organize yourself, take it one day at a time, spend some times with your kids .... Things will fall into the right place, it may not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen sooner or later.

    Keep faith in yourself, believe in yourself ... That's the one thing life cannot take from you ...
     
  9. Icanium

    Icanium Ancient Guru

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    Sorry for your loss maikai, are there any fields in the army you can get into that do not require deployment?
     
  10. Veteran

    Veteran Ancient Guru

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    Yes you have to be strong for the kids as im sure you will be,things will improve even though right now things are at an all time low.

    Take care and be strong,im sure people in the army will understand your situation:)
     

  11. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    Maikai, sorry for your loss man.

    Do as TeX_UK suggested and start writing letters explaining your situation. Definitely write to your Senator and Congressman, possibly the Secretary of Defense....I'm sure he's human afterall. Writing the President, whether you like him or not, wouldn't be a bad idea either.

    From my understanding, if you're in the military, you're subject to deployment IF needed.
     
  12. nabelon

    nabelon Maha Guru

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    I'm deeply sorry for your loss, brother. I'm positive you will muster enough strength to go through this. These times are hard, but I'm sure you would pull trough. I wish you all the best in life.
     
  13. CyberPaddy

    CyberPaddy Master Guru

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    So sorry for your loss, keep strong and continue. I will mentally pray for you when I talk to the holy vicar with other fellow guru men.
     
  14. Icanium

    Icanium Ancient Guru

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    "IF needed" is not the same as mandatory.
    I was in the US Air Force (military) for 11 years and never deployed. So, not sure about the other branches.
     
  15. spike21

    spike21 Member Guru

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    If it was me I would pray for guidance,the I would e-mail the president and me congressman for help.Someone is bound to help.Do you go to church,I went through some pretty horrible things 15 yrs ago,and the people at church help me make it,you would be surprised how much they can help if you just let them know.I use to watch war movies just to feel like my life wasn't so bad.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2011

  16. Luumpy

    Luumpy Master Guru

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    This^^^
    Im soo sorry for Your loss, god what can i say. Stay strong for the kids.
    Thank you for your service.
     
  17. soltitade

    soltitade Active Member

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    World wont help but i am very sorry for you loss i truly am :(
     

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