Lost my wife

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by maikai, Jul 15, 2011.

  1. maikai

    maikai Maha Guru

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    I just came home from Korea and we were moving to Colorado Springs when it happened. My 2 kids 3 & 1 will never get to know their mommy. Our 4 year anniversary is Saturday. My wife had a daughter from a previous marriage whos now 8 and I have raised since she was 4. Upon all of this happening her biological father came and took her from me because I had never legally adopted her, even though I have raised her and never asked him for a thing. Her 3 year old brother is her best friend and he needs her so much right now. My car needed repairs done so I could make the drive to California to bury my wife and now the electricity at our house has been turned off, so I'm living at my parents while they are in Hawaii on vacation. Now the Army tells me I have one year to figure out what to do with my kids if I deploy or they will seperate me. WTF! When my life sucks it sucks hard. I've been coming to this website for quite a few years and I've seen a few threads of other people down in their lives, I guess maybe just reading some positive replys from others who have gone through similar experiences and came out ok would make me feel better. I know just writing about it has already at least temporarily relieved some stress from me.
     
  2. dchalf10

    dchalf10 Banned

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    Well I can't say that I've experienced anything similar but I can safely say that without a mother around deploying overseas would not exactly be the responsible thing to do so maybe you can get indefinite leave based on emotional or personal reasons and get a job closer to home until you sort yourself and your family out.

    I'm really sorry to hear about your situation btw, but I think you need to do anything you can to stay near your kids lest they be messed up for life by losing 2 parents around the same time, especially at such young ages.
     
  3. JEFFRO503

    JEFFRO503 Guest

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    Well Marika , I don't know really what to say except to keep your chin up man! You will see the light at the end of the tunnel sooner or later , you just gotta hold strong. I have had a crappy week as well with an idiot computer builder , and it is NOTHING like what you are going through! I wish you the best man , so stay strong and positive for yourself and especially for your kids! This is when they need their father the most!

    And on a side note : Thank you so much for serving in the Military man!
     
  4. lIqUI[]

    lIqUI[] Guest

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    I couldn't possibly imagine life without my wife and children. I am sad for you, and very sorry for your loss, just terrible.
     

  5. Virtue

    Virtue Master Guru

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    Wow :/
     
  6. Stormyandcold

    Stormyandcold Ancient Guru

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    Crappy week here too after being burgled, but, nothing compares to your situation maikai. Take things one day at a time. I'd get leave from army for now and look after kids. 8yr old will likely look for you one day, but, leave that part aside for now.

    Kids first. Get a civilian job if it looks like you won't be able to return to the army. Folks will surely be of some emotional and personal assistance once they're back. Talk to them and spend as much time as a family as possible!

    Good luck bro and always look forward.
     
  7. Mont Vigilante

    Mont Vigilante Member

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    Put a formal request into the Army for a compassionate reassignment, such as recruiting duty for three years. I am retired military and I am pretty sure you can do this under your circumstances. Prayer also helps. God Bless
     
  8. Year

    Year Ancient Guru

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    in this life, unfortunately, somebody laughs while somebody cries.

    the good news (sort of) is that you're not the only one in this world going through something like this, millions of people out there face the same problems, often at once.

    good luck with everything.
     
  9. PR-0927

    PR-0927 Guest

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    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Keep your head up - things will work out in the end.

    And thank you for having the courage to serve our nation.

    - PR-0927
     
  10. Jae-So

    Jae-So Guest

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    so sorry to hear that man, my condolences
     

  11. W@w@Y

    W@w@Y Ancient Guru

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    I dont know what to say to make you feel better, but whenever I or any of the people close to me have down times I just tell myself/them.."This too, shall pass" and I know you will sort it out eventually :) be strong :)
     
  12. Palerider

    Palerider Ancient Guru

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    That's so sad.I'm sorry for your loss.I just couldn't imagine....

    I hope it turns around for you man, but in the mean time you should talk to someone professional.It will take an immensely strong mind to get through this without help.
     
  13. RagDoll_Effect

    RagDoll_Effect Ancient Guru

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    Hey m8, I can't imagine how this is for you and your family :( Feel for you very much and so does everyone here on Guru3d and people that know you. This is sad, very sad. You just gotta get through it and know that the struggle will see light, you're a very good man, and people are here to help, also, thank you for serving your country, it is an honor to have you on Guru3d.

    warmest wishes,
    regards,
    RagDoll.
     
  14. deltatux

    deltatux Guest

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    I'm very sorry to hear about this, and like others have stated, maybe it's best to find civilian work or ask the army for a reassignment so that you can still stay with your kids. Family's always important, they're the ones who help you ride out the rough times and share the joys of life with.

    As a citizen of a nation that has close co-operation with the United States, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your selfless service to the global community. May your problems be resolved with a utmost joyous ending.

    deltatux
     
  15. davetheshrew

    davetheshrew Guest

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    My lord give this man strength in his time of need.

    I couldnt imagine what would happen to my mental wellbeing if I lost that much so quickly so my friend I am in prayer for you, my deepest sympathies.

    Dave
     

  16. anticupidon

    anticupidon Ancient Guru

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    i am sorry for your loss..
    my sympathies.
    i wish you all the luck,strentgh and willpower to get trough this
     
  17. TeX_UK

    TeX_UK Guest

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    Really sorry to here about your wifes passing man & my heart goes out to you & your kids.Now as for the Army **** them tbh I hope that this is a lesson to all that they think of you as piece of meat totally heartless bastards... It would'nt happen in the UK thats for sure,what about your parents could there be a possibility that they could help maybe take the kids while you are away with the Army ?, write to everybody in power(your congressman, state governor, state senator, the president) asking for some compassion allowing you to leave the Army & look after your kids,if all else fails take your kids & leave the country after all who would want to live in a country that treats you like this absolute discrace.Your kids are your No. 1 priority nothing else matters.As for the little girl from your wifes previous marrage I would speak to a lawyer that practices family law about it even if it just to stay in cantact with her without having custody,but I wish you all the luck in the world m8 & stay strong for your kids sake !.
     
  18. Captain Oats

    Captain Oats Master Guru

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    Feel really sorry for your situation. As others said focus on your kids and be strong, don't let go and do whatever you can to make things better. I'm sure you can overcome it, just don't stop trying.
     
  19. Sneakers

    Sneakers Guest

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    Hang in there buddy, you are not alone in missfortune!

    Beeing out in the theatre is a no no at this point, as others have said look for another way to work within the military if you want to stay.

    You will get through this because you have no choice.

    All the best
     
  20. PetritH

    PetritH Member Guru

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    Be strong man, god will help you, and thanks for serving to our nation...

    god bless you and your kids.
     

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