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" Lets talk about sex " 18+ only

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by cartdog, Jul 9, 2007.

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  1. Food

    Food Banned

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    this thread is taking a weird direction :devil: i'd stop right here right now.
     
  2. Recrofne

    Recrofne Ancient Guru

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    Why is Chii here? She can't fake orgasms! She is a machine and can't have sex or else all of her memories go bye bye because of where her switch is located!

    I liked Chobits because at the end we all know Hideki will die a virgin loser.

    ...

    Carry on, I guess.
     
  3. cowie

    cowie Ancient Guru

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    yea i love the hummed version of the star spangled banner,is my fav. lol

    i remember one of my old g/f's used to kick me off when she was done lol
    but fake o's are nothing new to hurry you along
    :banana: :boob: :mhp: :moon: :booty:
     
  4. snowolves

    snowolves Master Guru

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    Well,I saw this photo today and liked it and wanted to post it,is that answer ok?
    There is no male virgin in the world actually,you know what I mean.;)
    Chobits is great to me,because it says,(Human shaped)computers are beautiful,tender,great companion of men,and that man CAN have true love with computer.
    Had to admit that I'm an Otaku.:)
    I don't regard computers as ordinary machine,even today's table PC is special to me.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007

  5. Food

    Food Banned

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. Satan

    Satan Ancient Guru

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    Alright. Now that we're at page 5, I can start giving away true advice :D

    For example:

    1. Each greeting home should be followed by "Make me a sammich."
    2. Each time upon entering the bed, you should declare "Make me a sexumz."
    3. Each time upon exiting the bed, you should declare "Make me a sexumz.... again.... BITCH."
    oh, and 4. Whenever you enter the house after a long day of work, if these steps have been followed correctly, your wife should be on her knees, naked, with a nice big sammich in her hands as tribute to you.

    This way she will know who is her boss.

    My gf wuld get a huge kick outta this thread ^^
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  7. llerenaprincipe

    llerenaprincipe Ancient Guru

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    afaik ur not 18
    r u?
     
  8. dcx_badass

    dcx_badass Ancient Guru

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    Yeah dammit i forgot this thread checked your ID......
     
  9. ScoobyDooby

    ScoobyDooby Ancient Guru

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    can this be considered ahead of the game?? or foot in the grave?

    Interesting how some guys could see this either way yknow :)
    Nah I'm lucky. The best way to get to know about women is to spend lots of time with them. I can't help being a ladies man :mhp: But it helps to be tall dark and handsome..

    When I read that, all I could do is crunch the real numbers.. those numbers being the percentage of men who duno WTF to do down there.

    **tip for the kids out there** - Think playing the harmonica.. now, fall in love with that harmonica...
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  10. MDK_Snipe

    MDK_Snipe Member

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    ROFL SATAN


    wowo zach u have a huge e=penis

    did u really show sydney this thats prety funny

    and about that 4 step process....you have tried it with syndey? ROFLLLLLLLL

    "TRUE ADVCE"

    wow zach so jokes
     

  11. otaku

    otaku Ancient Guru

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    that stops you?? lol
     
  12. Satan

    Satan Ancient Guru

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    I didn't try anything at all. The only thing I even close to violated was the 18+ only rule, which obv has been violated a billion times by now. Read posts more plz Eric :p

    OMG IM GONNA DIE BCUZ I LOOKED AT A THREAD ABOUT SEKS ZOMG
    Nope :p

    I'm pretty sure a bunch of the peeps posting aren't 18. Seeing sex in the title obv attracted my uninterrupted attention :eek3:
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  13. MDK_Snipe

    MDK_Snipe Member

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    all i have to say.....is ROFL
     
  14. MDK_Snipe

    MDK_Snipe Member

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    mmmmmm

    it helps to be black


    black guys tend to get all the chicks NP
     
  15. MDK_Snipe

    MDK_Snipe Member

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    this person a guy??



    hmmmm we need steroids in this convo, he has tons of experience IMO
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007

  16. Bubbaganoosh

    Bubbaganoosh Maha Guru

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    TENACIOUS D LYRICS

    "**** Her Gently"

    This is a song for the ladies
    But fellas listen closely
    You don't always have to **** her hard
    In fact sometimes that's not right to do
    Sometimes you've got to make some love
    And ****in give her some smoochies too
    Sometimes ya got to squeeze
    Sometimes you've got to say please
    Sometime you've got to say hey
    I'm gonna **** you softly
    I'm gonna screw you gently
    I'm gonna hump you sweetly
    I'm gonna ball you discreetly
    And then you say hey I bought you flowers
    And then you say wait a minute sally
    I think I got somethin in my teeth
    Could you get it out for me
    That's ****in teamwork
    Whats your favorite posish?
    That's cool with me
    Its not my favorite
    But I'll do it for you
    Whats your favorite dish?
    Im not gonna cook it
    But ill order it from Zanzibar
    And then I'm gonna love you completely
    And then I'll ****in **** you discreetly
    And then I'll ****ing bone you completely
    But then I'm gonna **** you hard
    Hard
     
  17. Nato.dbnz

    Nato.dbnz Ancient Guru

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    So much wrong with this post I'm afraid.

    1. What you posted is a cartoon, not a photo. You can never have a relationship with a cartoon so please quit while you are ahead.
    2. If, when you say "there is no male virgin in the world if you know what in mean" is implying that having a wank counts as losing one's virginity then please for the love of god get out of your house, off the computer, and interact with a human.
    3. "(Human shaped)computers are beautiful,tender,great companion of men,and that man CAN have true love with computer." ..........huh.........no..........please stop before you further damage yourself.....
     
  18. Satan

    Satan Ancient Guru

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    So you mean the nice lady from the webcam doesn't love me?

    :...(
     
  19. lillelj

    lillelj Maha Guru

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    lol. What a crap thread.
    Got as far as the first post....oh and i read mine. :bonk:


    [​IMG]
     
  20. Bravo

    Bravo Master Guru

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    this thread is funny....aaaanyhoo i dont really have good advice, im just a playa
     
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