Gah, I feel stupid for even posting but not sure how to handle this.

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by Vibe, Aug 29, 2020.

  1. Vibe

    Vibe Master Guru

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    We have one of those 10 person tents and on occasion a group of us will go roughing it in Kentucky where we know someone with 5k acres of wilderness, much of it is part of the conservation. Which is where I'm at now. There are 5 of us and I'm the only guy this time, so since I didn't have any fishing buddies, I didn't bring my gear so I guess the intent was mostly hiking or just to have something to do this weekend. I've known everyone in our group for a while. It's my g/f's sister, their niece (brothers daughter) and her niece's friend. Normally our group is 9 people which would include my regular fishing buddies. God I wished they had been able to come this time and none of this would have happened.

    We had a "normal" time yesterday, kinda boring but ya know. Once it got dark enough, we retire, not laying in any particular order since we have plenty of space, other than my g/f who is sleeping to my left. At some point in the night or early this morning, I'm awakened to a pleasurable oral sensation and naturally assumed it was her. Not exactly an appropriate time and place considering we're with guests but everyone else I presumed to be sleeping, so I go with it. It's not that unusual for her to wake me up like that. The night sounds are pretty loud anyway so they drown out any noises and I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. Even feeling the back of her head, I didn't notice any difference because mentally I assumed this was her. Maybe if I was a little more observant, I would have noticed something physically different.

    It wasn't until afterwards when I feel this person, who I thought was my g/f move away from me and uses their hands on my legs to crawl backwards out from under the sheet I had laying over me as apposed to just rolling over next to me like she would normally do. Then I hear this person cough and clear their throat at a distance that was not directly next to me. That's when I got confused, so I reached my arm over to my left and feel my g/f laying there and she had not moved.

    So then I'm freaking out and trying to process what just happened. I felt so damn stupid and generally just confused. I didn't sleep at all from then on and got up suspiciously observing everyone once daybreak hit. But everyone is acting normal and I can't figure it out but I felt like I was going insane because it makes no sense. We're now back at the cabin where I have some signal and it's nearly 4pm yet still have no clue who it was. I don't even know WTF to do but earlier my g/f bought me a carmel apple turnover as a surprise and I don't know why but I almost broke down. I gave her a hug and told her I loved her. I felt horrible and sad at the same time.

    The biggest issue creeping me out is the age discrepancies here. Two of these girls, I'm old enough to be their father so it's constantly rolling in my head because I just can't imagine her sister being like that plus she's happily married. From what I've gathered from her husband's jokes is that she doesn't even like giving oral. The other two, I dunno but having a hard time leaning on any one person over the other. None of them ever came off to me, to be like this, that is to say, sexually aggressive or anything of the sort.

    I don't want to cause any relationship issues between anyone but WTF??? Mentally I feel ashamed but the question I have is like why would one of them do this? Or did they think I knew who it was and that I wanted this? I've thought hard all day on if I could have accidentally led anyone of them on but there is no way I did. I've been my normal, laid back, keep to myself, self all week. The most I could think of at the moment was to ask my g/f if she had woken up at all during the night, maybe I was somehow mistaken on the feeling and sounds of distance but she said she never woke up.

    Should I just tell her and let her sort this issue out? None of them are giving me any particular vibes or social indication that something unusual is going on. I feel stupid for posting this because I feel like if I was a female that any discourse on this subject would be taken way differently. I feel like this person stole something from me and is now riding their kite for getting away with it. I just want to have a talk with them to understand why, hopefully come to some sort of closure without making a family scene out of it but I can't just go around and ask about such a thing. Would they even confess if I did? What reason is there? I makes no sense...sorry I'm rambling and am confused.
     
  2. jbscotchman

    jbscotchman Ancient Guru

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    That's a hell of a story. Honestly I wouldn't say anything cause if you do it's gonna destroy your inner circle of friends. But on the other hand I I understand your side too, you want answers. I'm not sure what you should do.
     
  3. Amaze

    Amaze Ancient Guru

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    You let it go too far and now you have no way out. There is no right decision at this point. Sorry but that is the truth.
    You better be a damn good liar if this person should ever choose to use it against you.
     
  4. anticupidon

    anticupidon Ancient Guru

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    This is really messed up.
    You were raped, technically.
    You didn't consent to this. Did you?
    This is based on what you told us.
     
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  5. Smiley_ie

    Smiley_ie Master Guru

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    You didn't go looking for it and you genuinely thought it was your GF is in your favour do you think your GF would understand ? You are a victim if what your saying is true.
     
  6. moo100times

    moo100times Master Guru

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    This. I would actually speak to your partner about this too.
     
  7. Size_Mick

    Size_Mick Master Guru

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    Get tested.
     
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  8. You need to get tested for STDs. You need to tell your partner you were raped & thought you were having sex with her. This will put you at an advantage of never having to lie in the future if someone else tries to hurt you again. If your partner loves you; they won’t lash out at you; it is that procreating simple. Rape isn’t anyone’s fault but the perpetrator, you did nothing wrong. I’d also avoid those people in the future it’s not worth the price.

    & @Vibe I’m sorry. Life can be a real bitch sometimes. Sorry you went through this.
     
  9. XenthorX

    XenthorX Ancient Guru

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    You totally have to tell your partner.
     
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  10. Valken

    Valken Ancient Guru

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    You got raped dude. Whatever you felt about it, if you do not talk to your partner about it, it will hang over your life and eventually come out.

    Bite the bullet and tell your partner.
     
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  11. anticupidon

    anticupidon Ancient Guru

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    Even worse.
    Imagine following scenarios.
    a) who did that to you OP could easily record that on a spy camera and have that as evidence and could anytime get out with it and blackmail you;
    b) someone else planned this all along and played you all the way;
    C) even more wicked, your SO tried to test your faith and love.
    All the above are just suppositions. But life is stranger than fiction.
     
  12. fantaskarsef

    fantaskarsef Ancient Guru

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    Reads like one of those cheesy "reader letters in adult magazines", an urban legend.
     
  13. insp1re2600

    insp1re2600 Maha Guru

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    nothing legendary about being raped in ya sleep bro, if it was a girl writing it, would be uproar.
     
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  14. Vibe

    Vibe Master Guru

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    Alright well I'm a lot calmer today now that I finally had a full nights sleep. I slept for like 11 hours. Thanks for the support everyone. Still a little stressed from the drive, I hate interstates, but at least the incident feels more distant now. I think I'll be okay once I get back to my usual routine and back to work this week.

    I've already looked into the online STD test thing. I can get a really good one for about $400. Or $200 for a more basic one. Those home kits are cheaper but look cheap too. My biggest fear is this happening to someone else's b/f, husband. I never once thought I'd have to deal with rape. I'm old school so the idea of being raped as a guy just felt kinda silly but I know I need to get past those old archetypes that I grew up with.

    I still have to think about how to approach this because g/f is really close with these people. Plus her sister has her own family, their niece is technically under age and not sure how old her friend is so my primary fear is that just the suspicions alone could cause a family rift between the wrong person. I'm guessing someone had a hidden fetish and acted out on it and my biggest fear is that this may happen to another family member's husband or b/f. I just want to scream in my head basically. Actually I think I have been.

    If I knew for sure who it was, I could at least deal with this 1 on 1 without causing a divide. *edit. I did come up with my own suspicion of who it may be but I'm basing it only on how many times I caught them looking at me and that may not be an indicator of anything. Otherwise they were a good actor. However I may need my g/f's help and honestly the thought of telling her scares the crap out of me right now. I can't imagine anyone admitting to it at this point so my other fear is this will go nowhere except to cause suspicions and distance between them.

    I think a beer sounds good about now.
     
  15. insp1re2600

    insp1re2600 Maha Guru

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    if your gf aint supportive to you, over this occurring if you tell her, count the moment as an awakening and you are with the wrong person. Seriously...

    on the flip side, all this skulking about looking at std kits and such could backfire, as she sees your history and assumes you are playing away.

    Say something, before it goes too far and affects you in a mental and situational way.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2020
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  16. Amaze

    Amaze Ancient Guru

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    You really need to ask yourself why you let this happen in a tent with 4 women, with possibly 2 of them being underage.
     
  17. insp1re2600

    insp1re2600 Maha Guru

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    Can't blame the victim..
     
  18. SpajdrEX

    SpajdrEX AMD Vanguard

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    Imagine it would happen with 4 men in a tent
     
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  19. Amaze

    Amaze Ancient Guru

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    He was taken advantage of but he let it happen in a completely inappropriate place. He is not a total victim here and him taking on that role would be bad for his character. He should own up to his mistake.

    No man would dare to assault a woman in a tent with 4 other dudes and her boyfriend laying next to her. You'd risk getting beaten to a pulp.

    And another thing, why would you assume your gf would give your unwashed camping dick head? That alone should have set alarm bells ringing. Would you have gone down on your gf with the state of her vagina after a weekend of hiking in the woods? Not if you have a sense of smell.
     
  20. SpajdrEX

    SpajdrEX AMD Vanguard

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    @Amaze and who told you I was talking about a woman? :D
     

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