Funny jokes

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by trodas, Jul 9, 2014.

  1. Extraordinary

    Extraordinary Ancient Guru

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    Q) What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs?

    A) Gracias
     
  2. Brasky

    Brasky Ancient Guru

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    There was a Polish guy who wanted to be a terrorist. The group told him he had to prove himself worthy first. They sent him out to blow up a car and all he managed to do is burn his mouth on the tailpipe.
     
  3. StewieTech

    StewieTech Chuck Norris

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    Q: How do you call a dog that has no legs?
    A: You don´t call him, you go get him!

    hahahaha i hate my life...
     
  4. Tom Martow

    Tom Martow New Member

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    What did the Salad say to his best friends when his favorite song came on the radio?

    Lettuce Turnip the Beet.
     

  5. Dragondale13

    Dragondale13 Maha Guru

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    Ever had sex while camping?....It's ****ing intents.:)
     
  6. trodas

    trodas Master Guru

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    No, the guy is thief. They just call themselves politicians... ;) Got it now?


    ...




    [​IMG]
    facebook privacy
     
  7. zipper

    zipper Maha Guru

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    Btw Trodas, are you Pavel, ex-Amigan?
     
  8. Elder III

    Elder III Ancient Guru

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    I think almost all bi-lingual people would agree on that.
     
  9. trodas

    trodas Master Guru

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    zipper - yep ;) And I still believe that Amiga OS was the best OS ever made - mainly because it was a microkernel, unlike MacOS, Linux or Winblows :)


    ...


    But when I started picking on Facebook... then I finish in style:

    [​IMG]
    Face book Mondo parody

    Looks better in WEBM, but that img extension is not supported there...
    http://a.pomf.se/xkdorh.webm

    Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heVHuz1rq6k
     
  10. rflair

    rflair Don Commisso Staff Member

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    You ask someone 'What hand do you use to wipe your ass?'

    They will reply either 'My right hand.' or 'My left hand.'

    You reply 'I use toilet paper.'
     

  11. rflair

    rflair Don Commisso Staff Member

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    If you live in a multicultural country sometimes people will ask you; Where were you born? You reply Between my mothers legs.
     
  12. Xarabas

    Xarabas New Member

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    lol, so funny :)
     
  13. zipper

    zipper Maha Guru

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    Agreed - you could control the OS and not visa versa like now ... still have my A500T living (at least last summer when launced the last time).
     
  14. AsiJu

    AsiJu Ancient Guru

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    Here's an international joke with a local twist:

    A Finn, Norwegian, Swede, German and Russian are traveling on an airplane.

    Suddenly, the captain announces that the plane's losing altitude and they must reduce weight to compensate (but there aren't any parachutes on the plane).

    First, the Russian decides to sacrifice himself and jump off the plane and says: "long live Mother Russia!"

    The plane's still dropping, so next the German jumps off and declares: "long live The Third Reich!"

    At this point the captain announces that one person still must go.

    The Finn and Norwegian both stand up, throw the Swede out of the plane and declare: "long live Scandinavian co-operation!"

    (No offense to anyone intented)
     
  15. Brasky

    Brasky Ancient Guru

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    Female Jokes.
    Q: Which is the odd one out: a woman, a microwave or a fridge?
    A: The microwave, the other two leak when they’re ****ed.

    Q: What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
    A: You come in one and go in the other.

    Q: Whats the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease?
    A: One attacks the cow's brain and sends it ****ing mental, the other is an agricultural problem.

    Q: How do you know that beer contains female hormones?
    A: Drink two or three, and you cannot drive properly anymore and start talking bull****.

    Q: What do toy railways and boobs have in common?
    A: Both are made for children but it's the fathers who play with them most.

    Q: Why can't you trust a woman?
    A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die?

    Q: Why do most men die before their wives?
    A: They want to!

    Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
    A: Wedding Cake!
     

  16. trodas

    trodas Master Guru

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    [​IMG]
    do what they told you
     
  17. trodas

    trodas Master Guru

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    [​IMG]
    routers difference
     
  18. 4goTTen21

    4goTTen21 Member

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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    i don't get it
     
  19. 4goTTen21

    4goTTen21 Member

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    hahahaha like that!
     
  20. trodas

    trodas Master Guru

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    hint: pay more to not get infected is true for routers and hookers ;)

    ...


    [​IMG]
    smoke by a gas pump
     

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