Fitting in vs standing out

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by proFits, Mar 15, 2013.

  1. proFits

    proFits Ancient Guru

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    Hello everybody!

    Been a while since I posted in the pub. Nways
    I've got this question to ask, since this place is full of all types of people.

    Are you the type of person that likes to ''fit in'' as in you like to disapear in a crowd of people and be cog in the gear?

    Or would you rather be the ''stand out'' type. Flashy personality, altertive lifestyle and such?

    Most of all I'm interested in knowing your opinion on both (I could read a sociological book on the matter, but I love my gurus)
     
  2. StewieTech

    StewieTech Chuck Norris

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    My opinion is be yourself and **** the rest. As for me, it usually results in "stand out", whatever you mean by that.
     
  3. Anarion

    Anarion Ancient Guru

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    I am what I am and I am not trying to be something I'm not. That usually means that I disappear in the crowd.
     
  4. Palerider

    Palerider Ancient Guru

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    There's a time and a place for both. Don't do it for how it benefits you though, do it for the betterment of your surroundings. It don't do anyone any good to be "that guy" in school, work, military service, etc. On the other hand, maybe your friends need you to be that guy.

    Basically, to conform just for the sake of conformity is weakness.
    Standing out just for the sake of being the odd ball is a bit childish.
     

  5. proFits

    proFits Ancient Guru

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    I like how you put it. But what do you mean by ''that guy'' exactly. Someone that is disturbing/offending or just wants too hard to be the center of attention?
     
  6. Palerider

    Palerider Ancient Guru

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    It's been my experience that they're one in the same. The class clown who distracts others for attention (laughs)- In the Army there were lots of guys who just didn't want to follow the structure because the rules didn't make sense to them or they thought their way was better, at work, let's face it, we have to be a machine. You do what the company wants, you do what's best for the company, and that's that. I was as rebellious as anyone, but I came to learn you need to fit in sometimes.
     
  7. Decane

    Decane Ancient Guru

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    Whichever one chooses, one does so to gratify one's vanity; both phenomena stem from exactly the same source. And the vainest of them all is the one who denies that he is vain.
     
  8. Palerider

    Palerider Ancient Guru

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    I see the wisdom poking through, but please explain how "Getting lost in the crowd" gratifies ones ego?
     
  9. scipio

    scipio Ancient Guru

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    If you fit it in you have to get it out and then you put it in again.
     
  10. eclap

    eclap Banned

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    hate attention seeking and being center of attention. I am myself and people like me for just that. and some don't, maybe. their loss :p
     

  11. Darkest

    Darkest Ancient Guru

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    Some people like to be part of the whole, and actively look down upon people who are not. There is some self gratification to be found in conformity, you could also call it popularity or keeping up with trends.

    Personally speaking I tend to just be myself, although who I am can differ depending on the situation I'm in and who I'm speaking too. I'm extremely anti-authority, but find that presenting myself as such everywhere I go will do little but get peoples backs up. Sometimes it's best to grit your teeth and get on with something. For example, a cousin of mine ended up in hospital a few years ago - myself and a number of his family turned up for support. One of his family members assumed that because I had long hair and a beard I was hardcore into metal and rock but nothing else. This of course was an opening for him to start trashing every other music type, paticularly rap (Which I'm actually a big fan of, at least the older stuff). At the time it was best to just let him ramble on, it simply wouldn't have been appropriate for me to make an issue of it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2013
  12. The Chubu

    The Chubu Ancient Guru

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    Actually, the better you fit in a group, the better you stand out among them.
     
  13. proFits

    proFits Ancient Guru

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    Vanity seems to be the wrong word.

    But regardless a lot of you guys seem to be following the ''whatever floats your boat'' kind of mentality. That's all fun, but as a society it doesn't seem to be so well represented, the population as a whole seems so polarized.

    A lot of people want the system to be rigid and infallible/foolproof. A system that is grey and bureaucratic (Equilibrium/slow moving monsters in Hitchhiker's Guide type deal). These Office-type people if you will, have had to ''fit in'' to the office environment, in which they are led and guide toward a path chosen, most of the time, against their will for the greater good of the company. For example: having to choose between productivity (quantity) and conformity to process (quality).

    On the other hand, you have the artistic/cultural side to live. That makes ''fitting in'' disgusting or out of touch with our inner child. So there are the utopists (hippies if you will), dreaming of a machine-free Eden. Obviously to office type people, that know the effort you have to make to achieve success, it looks frivolous and stupid.

    And thus a balance is needed, right? So my question is, how do we deal with people that are doing too much on one side or the other. Living in downtown Montreal I have to live with constant student riots for the last year. Most of their demands seem unreasonable and unfeasible. On the other side, you have the rich man, which is asking for concessions from the poor while he makes the salary equal to a large portion of his employee's.

    Could we improve the world by reducing these ''extremists'' and being more balanced, more ... middle-class oriented I guess.
     
  14. RedSeptember

    RedSeptember Master Guru

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    Stand out. Why be a sheep when you can be the Sheppard?
     
  15. Decane

    Decane Ancient Guru

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    I made a statement about what motivates people to fit in (gratifying one's vanity), and you are asking me to defend the position that one of the many possible consequences of fitting in, of which you have arbitrarily chosen one ("getting lost in the crowd"), legitimizes the motivation (gratifies one's vanity). From my vantage point, that looks dangerously like a straw-man; though I admit the possibility that I have misjudged, in which case I am awfully sorry - I assure you I did not intend it.

    To clarify: people are motivated to "fit in" by the anticipated acceptance and/or admiration of some social group whose acceptance and/or admiration they covet. Vanity is involved just to the extent that this acceptance and/or admiration is coveted.
     

  16. Brasky

    Brasky Ancient Guru

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    small settings/groups i prefer to stand out. but on a larger scale i prefer to fit in. :eek3::angel:
     
  17. Elder III

    Elder III Ancient Guru

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    I strive to do what I believe to be right in all settings. While I do care about other people (ie - compassion), I do not care about whether or not I fit in to their ideas about what is popular or "normal". I don't live my life to please other people, or to please myself - rather my Creator.

    tldr - I live my own way and don't care whether I fit in or stand out.
     
  18. Dillinger

    Dillinger Master Guru

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    I couldn't care less, there's never been a moment where I felt the need to bandwagon or act flashy.

    Seeing everyone's incessant need to act a certain way to appease others is pretty much laughable to me...
     
  19. NomadAssassin

    NomadAssassin Master Guru

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    I like to blend in crowds.
    <<<<<<<<<<<<
     
  20. airbud7

    airbud7 Ancient Guru

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    Stand Out...That's how I Roll...:)

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    :)
     

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