Dell sued after man breaks computer looking for cookies

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by DaShoota, Sep 16, 2009.

  1. DaShoota

    DaShoota Master Guru

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    chocolate chip cookies
    DELL SUED AFTER MAN BREAKS COMPUTER LOOKING FOR COOKIES
    August 27 2009

    Trenton, NJ – There are few technologies as confusing and overwhelming to a certain group of people than the computer. Whether a result of the complex nature of the mechanics or a result of the unfamiliarity with the interface, computers continue to dell logo
    provide great difficulty to many users even decades after the machines started to become mainstream. Though the day-to-day usage rarely delves into the more complex aspects of the machines many people still find themselves at a loss when it comes to dealing with the increasingly ubiquitous machines.

    Dell Computers has made its name by making a concerted effort to ease user interaction with computers. By offering low cost, high quality machines in easy to understand terminology the company has made billions and asserted itself as one of the biggest businesses in the world. Now though the company is being faced with a lawsuit from a very dissatisfied customer who claims that the company misled him which caused him to destroy his computer. At the heart of the lawsuit is a cookie, a term used for a small text file commonly used by websites but because of its name, is often confused with delicious baked goods.smashed computer

    “The heart of this lawsuit is the kind of jumbled terminology so often used in computers and related technologies. In this case my client was inexperienced when it came to computer use and web browsing and so when he discovered a familiar term, acted accordingly. It is the wording that is the issue here and that is what must change,” said lawyer Kevin Caulter. “I want to be clear here, my client did not break open his computer looking for cookies because he was hungry. He was under the impression that somehow baked goods had been placed inside his machine and wanted to rectify the situation. It was not explained to him in any way that a cookie was something other than a small piece of text and he did not want permanent damage to his brand new and very expensive machine.”smashed computer

    The lawsuit is seeking the cost of the machine and damages up to $5 million as well as permanent change to the ‘cookie’ terminology. It’s believed the customer, whose name has not yet been made public, removed all pieces of his new machine and upon finding no cookies, took a sledgehammer to the remaining pieces.

    “For whatever reason computers are very daunting for a lot of people. Cars are just as complex but very few people are overwhelmed by the process of driving them. With computers though the idea of getting behind the wheel is almost traumatic for many people and that causes them to act a little rashly,” said Scrape TV Technology analyst Ken Kevins. “Add to that the kind of terminology that is used like ‘cookie’ or ‘bus’ that is used in other smashed computer
    areas and you have a recipe for confusion, especially with panicky people. Everyone understands piston or transmission but the kind of daunting and occasionally misleading names used in computing still gets a lot of people.”

    Thus far there has been no official comment from Dell but it is believed that the lawsuit will have little traction as the company is not responsible for the placement of cookies on users’ machines.

    “Dell has probably done more than any other company to make computers accessible
    to mainstream audiences. There have been a lot of factors that have contributed to computers being in everyone’s homes but there is likely no other company that has it
    as a part of their philosophy to make computers accessible by everyone no matter peanut nutter cookies
    their experience, so for them to be hit with this kid of lawsuit is particularly ironic,” continued Kevins. “Cookies are such an integrated part of the way the web functions I think it’s very unlikely that they will change either in function or in name. This suit though may prompt other computer manufacturers to provide at least a basic list of common terminology used in the industry in order to avoid future problems.”

    It’s not clear what kind of cookies the customer was expecting to find or what he was going to do with them once he discovered them. His lawyer did state that his clients favourite type of cookie is peanut butter, also the personal favourite of Michael Dell.
    Martin Philton, Technology Correspondent

    Pics of smashed computer:

    http://scrapetv.com/News/News Pages...cookies-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html

    :stewpid:
     
  2. Doug

    Doug Ancient Guru

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    Has to be fake -_-
     
  3. Flopster

    Flopster Banned

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    [​IMG]


    That's all I've got to say...
     
  4. Iggyblack

    Iggyblack Ancient Guru

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    hahahah [​IMG][​IMG]

    wow, that is just, im at loss for words.
     

  5. glutto

    glutto Master Guru

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    If it's not fake, give the guy his $5 million, but then charge him the cost of altering every piece of software in the world to suit him.

    That is likely to exceed his reward money.
     
  6. anticitizen013

    anticitizen013 Ancient Guru

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    /facepalm for humanity

    The sad thing is... I can actually imagine this being real.
     
  7. masterchiefx2

    masterchiefx2 Banned

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    remeber the guy who sued after injuring himself trying to escape from prison


    :funny:
     
  8. CronoGraal

    CronoGraal Ancient Guru

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    Wow ffs please tell me that's fake.
     
  9. Laykun

    Laykun Ancient Guru

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    I wish some people would just admit they are stupid instead of trying to place blame on others. Some people shouldn't be allowed to use computers -_-.
     
  10. Finchwizard

    Finchwizard Don Apple

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    Got to be fake.

     

  11. nvlddmkm

    nvlddmkm Banned

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    The words "smashed computer" placed in the text were pretty annoying. It's been doctored or altered by someone. That's what makes me think it's fake. Anyway, While getting the OC on my machine and subsequent adjustments made to it, I've wanted to smash mine. But my cool head prevailed.
     
  12. scoter man1

    scoter man1 Ancient Guru

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    Hahaha, omg!? There are cookies in my computer!?!
     
  13. Finchwizard

    Finchwizard Don Apple

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    Next in news, A Man is told there are Trojans inside his computer.
     
  14. nvlddmkm

    nvlddmkm Banned

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    I dumped a bunch of Malathion in my machine to prevent worms!!!
     
  15. shaggeyman39

    shaggeyman39 Member Guru

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    Wonder when someone will setoff a flea bomb in their case becasue it has bugs. :wanker:
     

  16. scipio

    scipio Ancient Guru

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    Fake news site, read their other articles
     
  17. Leafblower

    Leafblower Ancient Guru

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    Dell deserves to get sued even if it isn't real.
     
  18. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    That kinda sounds like the lady here that sued McDonalds because she spilled coffee in her lap and it burned her. As well as the guy that filed suit against McDonalds because his kid got fat from eating their food 2 meals a day for several years....because he didn't know how to cook....kid was 200lbs at age 13. Stupidity rages on....
     
  19. jeffmorris

    jeffmorris Ancient Guru

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    Some words are confusing. For example, the word "truck" means a motor vehicle for moving things from one place to other and a pivoting frame that attaches wheels to a train car. The word "car" means a motor vehicle for moving people from one place to other, an unit in a railroad train, and the box or platform that moves up and down elevator shaft.
     
  20. The Laughing Ma

    The Laughing Ma Ancient Guru

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    At what point in the course of our human development did it become commonplace to reward stupidity? I am not talking about normal stupidity or plain ignorance, I am talking the level of stupidity that when you read about it it leaves you slack jawed in amazement.

    100 years ago you had to build and invent hundread useful machines or theories to get your cash and even then some people who invented some truly great things got nothing for their efforts (Alan Turin.) Now you have people claiming they deserve $5million dollars because they are... for want of a better description, terminal wollies.

    Now whilst the story may indeed be fake the fact is we are actually at a stage now where that story could well be true.
     

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