cheating wife... and if possible need help..

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by tamzid, Jul 21, 2009.

  1. Stromgold

    Stromgold Maha Guru

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    If you are sure, and I mean 100% sure she is cheating.. just move on. It will suck for a while, but it'll pass and you be glad you did.

    If you aren't 100% sure, then try to work it out somehow. Obviously what she is doing, whether its friends or more with this other guy, is hurting you. Try explaining that to her in a calm conversation. If she really cares for you, and isn't cheating, she will stop hanging out with the "friend" to spare your feelings. Once she understands that she is really hurting you, if she refuses to stop seeing him, then I'd tell her to leave on the next thing smoking.
     
  2. Sprecker

    Sprecker Ancient Guru

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    This thread is full of insecurities. My advice is you should never have married anyone. You clearly have trust issues. Not to say that they aren't with out merrit, but come on. Just because Mr.X here wants to have his way with your woman ( I asume as does every man that talks to her by the way you're going on) doesn't mean she is going to let him. If you are realy that scared she is going to ruin what you "have" by sleeping with a crush, ask your self what it is you realy "have". If the answer you come up with is anything other than a secure marrige, you should probably just let her go because she was gone before this guy came around. The other quiestion you have to ask is are you mad because you think she is cheating or are you mad because she is in a situaltion where "can" cheat? Both are normal worries but the second one will ruin your marrige just as fast and guess what? It will be you're fault. If she says what she says is true and they are just friends, you just gave him something to console her about. That means you created a problem in your realationship and gave her something to discuss with him. So essentially you just created a situaltion where he can turn you into a untrusting a$$h*le that doesn't deserve her. People (women and men)eat that **** up. You're pushing her away.
    My advice is to not only allow her to go meet "Jo Homewreaker" but encourage her to "have those good friends". The if **** does happen it her fault. You can rest assured that your marrige was a facade and she would have jumped ship anyway. If you treat her like she was allways going to jump ship then she will start to resent you and eventually end up doing what you tried so hard to prevent, except now it's your fault.
    By all means though just keep doing what you are doing and in no time you will be a single man with all the hot women in the world at your door.
    P.S.
    Marrige advice on a hardware forum? Go grab a friend.
    Cheers.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2009
  3. Duke Nil

    Duke Nil Maha Guru

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    First of all, I've never been married, and second of all, I haven't bothered to read the rest of the posts.

    But my first instinct is to tell you to give her the benefit of the doubt, if you don't know for sure and she hasn't given you any reason not to trust her in the past then you should try and trust her.

    If she isn't cheating and she really does just want to be friends with him and you really are being paranoid, then it's really important that you not freak out, if she feels that you are suffocating her or don't trust her then you will likely drive her away. If you really still feel that she is lying to you, if/when you confront her you should tell her that it just looks and feels so suspicious and you're trying but having a very hard time trusting her, and would appreciate it if she could somehow put your mind at ease. If you can think of something that would do that, then suggest it.

    However, if you do find out for sure that she is, then I don't know what to tell you. It may be best to just move on, but I can tell you my dad cheated on my mom like 15 years ago, and despite the fact that my dad was really in love (it wasn't just a mid-life crisis or a fling or anything), they got it sorted and they chose to try and stay together, and are currently happily married. I can tell you as their son that it helped me a lot that they stayed together, I don't know how they did it but somehow it worked out.

    It's a tough situation you're in, I won't pretend to know what you're going through, but good luck
     
  4. Flukester

    Flukester Banned

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    Sorry but I see no cheating here. She is talking to a friend who happens to be a guy she used to know. She said she is friends and nothing more. I don't see any problems here other than you are jealous. Can 2 friends not laugh and joke together? I think you are being paranoid and it's not like she's slept with him. You have to have some trust and self confidence. Breaking into his hotmail or checking her email will not help you in a court of law or down the road, it just shows you are untrusting, immature and paranoid. I know, a friend of mine tried to use this stuff in court and it was thrown out. I think you need to stop behaving as you are grab a pill of "manhood" and accept the fact your wife is going to have guy friends whether you like it or not. When you come home and catch them in bed having sex or something, then you have cheating.
     

  5. OCmachine

    OCmachine Member

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    If you are genuine and really want to know, hire a private investigator. It will obviously cost you, but you will be better off.
     
  6. buddyfriendo

    buddyfriendo Ancient Guru

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    This.
    My dad did this back in the day to confirm what he thought to be true. It will cost you but you'll get real answers to your questions by doing it.
     
  7. masterchiefx2

    masterchiefx2 Banned

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  8. putty

    putty Ancient Guru

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    there are a few outcomes:

    1. she is not lying, and you are really paranoide and **** things up.

    2. she is not lying, and you let things play out, and it all gets right eventually.

    3. she is lying, and you are really paranoide and **** things up even more then it already would.

    4. she is lying and you let things play out, and then theres 2 more possibilities: 1 things get ****ed up by her. 2 she let you understand why and whatfor, you try to understand and in the end it all gets ok again.


    So the only solution for you is not getting paranoide and let things workout on its own...for the good or the bad...


    really good luck man, i mean it
     
  9. Lofti

    Lofti Member Guru

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    well...I have been married for 15 years, and my wife and I have a very trusting relationship..we have had our ups and downs over the years...

    this will be my advice to you...

    if you truly believe she is cheating on you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, pull the plug, move out, wash your hands of your relationship, move on. Life is truly too short and there is plenty of fish in the sea.

    the worst thing in the world to do is live day to day, having the thought of your wife cheating on you.

    sounds like things have already gone funky and if your at the point of thinking of hacking his or her email, then do yourself a favor and walk away.

    seriously, if you did manage to hack into their emails and find some spicy tidbits...whats it going to help? The damage will already be done.
     
  10. Dahzeal33

    Dahzeal33 Ancient Guru

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    This sounds like good advice. The only thing I could say different would be to not give up on it too quick. Give it a little time at least, before you walk away.
     

  11. JACK4HIRE

    JACK4HIRE Ancient Guru

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    I love this stuff.

    All women cheat, and all women lie about it. Women don’t have to be having sex with a person to be cheating on their significant other. Women can be “emotionally” involved with another man and be cheating even if sex is not involved. Women view affection and sex differently than men do. For women, the sex is just a consequence of the emotional involvement. Men just want to have sex – all the time, with anything that has a vagina.

    Why are you tolerating this situation again? You are this woman’s husband and she is your wife. Neither of you should be doing anything in the relationship that would make the other person uncomfortable or feel threatened. You have expressed your concern and discomfort at the situation to her and she has basically blown you, her husband off in favor of this “friend”. That my friend is bull**** with a capital B and you should seek the nearest point of egress because she is already headed out the door.

    You sound like a pathetic worm with your dribble. Grow a pair, dump her and move along. Better yet, find yourself a couple of nice looking lady ‘friends’ and start hanging out with them. Never mind, you’re too pathetic and lame right now to pull that one off, no hotty would have you. Dump her, crawl in a hole for a while, get your self together and then come out swinging.

    Maybe you shouldn’t listen to me though. Life has taught me that most women are lying, cheating whores and I now treat them accordingly. It is because of that fact I get laid a lot without all the associated drama. Women are good for one thing only, anything else you need can be had by a chum or a good dog.

    Long live The Ladder Theory!!!
     
  12. proFits

    proFits Ancient Guru

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    Nop Jack, your judgment is clear, society made women almighty and men are **** to the view of everyone, stereotype is what makes this world

    Problem is, I can't do anything about it, because I have a conscience and wouldn't live with myself

    Personally I find that beating up the dude is the only positive to get out of this
     
  13. Flopster

    Flopster Banned

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    Yeah!

    Though, I'm very young and may not have a FULL understanding of life, I truly believe in that thing you wrote. Guess I'm just so bitter, since I expect more from life, but get less...

    So, as I stated before, it's either him or you. If you really care for her that much, than fight for her(not really literally with fists 'n stuff, cos it may end with cops on yo' ass:D) with any means and then maybe, just maybe she'll see that there's someone that is into her that much, that will fight for here. If you are wiling to let it go, then to hell with her, since there's lotsa pussy 'round;)

    It's just a down time in your life, it'll pass, I know. Good luck with all that stuff!
     
  14. Flukester

    Flukester Banned

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    LOL! some people on this thread page need some serious help.
     
  15. BigAlBeast25

    BigAlBeast25 Master Guru

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  16. Flopster

    Flopster Banned

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    Who might be the one your talking about?
     
  17. panZEr330

    panZEr330 Master Guru

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    You came here for advice? Wow..

    Here's mine, don't whine about it don't feel bad - get over it and sleep with her sister/best friend.
     
  18. JACK4HIRE

    JACK4HIRE Ancient Guru

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    I wouldn't waste the skin on my knuckles bro... Why fight over a woman who has already wandered off unless she is the last one on the planet? Start your ‘stalk’ on another bovine and quit staring at the game that got away.

    Lions in the wild don’t lay around sulking about the antelope that managed to get away. They learn from their mistakes and start looking for new prey.

    Man is a f*cking ‘super-predator’ and we should start acting like it instead of trying to be ‘nice’ and ‘polite’ to women all the time like society expects of us. I don’t know about the rest of you ‘men’ here, but I am done being emasculated. I am through being sh*t on by women because it is expected of me.

    Most women are nothing but ‘transportation units for vaginas’. They can bare and raise children and the things that are done to make children are fun and feel good for the man. Their value ends there so why try to have a meaningful ‘relationship’ with them?

    End of story.
     
  19. ibitato

    ibitato Ancient Guru

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    I thought I had it with my ex, making myself go into some kind of regression about women....but, bro, you just remind me I still have a lot of homework to do............

    I hope you only think that way about those women that consistenly prove wrong to society.......

    There are women that deserve better; they all can't be treated the same way; and never never never hit them with a shovel

    But in a manner you are right, if she doesn't help to fix the situation, dump her.
     
  20. DSK

    DSK Banned

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    Wow dude the epicness of your posts is unrepresented QFT 100%
     

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