Another epic chapter in my life advice needed

That message he sent me still got my blood boiling
took a lot not to respond in the same manner
but i need to be the better person,especially right now.

He will see how it is when she dumps him and he is targeted the same as me

 

Harsh comment, but honest, respect! heheehehe

 

First off
I do not have 12 kids running around,I have a total of 4

Also my first and the EX that is refered to in this thread ,Her and I had a 4-5 year relationship,she lived with me from 14-18or19 years old.

The rest of my kids belong to me and my wife who i have been with for going on 5 years.

I do not go around getting girls pregnant.
I do not do one night stands,never did.
I would not touch a girl i did not have feelings for.

Yes my life is far from perfect and i am not the best canidate for a father,but i am a father.
I also try my hardest to be a positive role model but that doesn not always work.

No body is perfect,not even close.


Now i am not dismissing your advice,but i also can not go back in time and erase things,and now having the privelege to know my children,if i could go back in time i could not erase having them,it would be like killing them.

I could have made better choices ,yes that is true,but i did not and that is why I am where I am today.

I have also come to accept that all things in my life will progressivly get worse,
Family will die
The wife will probably split,going by marriage statistics,then take me on the child support order and have me locked down on a instant felony.

Or i can play fairyland and say everything is fine and play to the term ignorance is bliss.

 

woah talk about loooong posts

 

Honestly, a genuine well done from me. That's how you do it. Don't sink to his level.

 

hehe your avatar hehe funny

 

haha yeh ive had way too many threads closed hmm i wont create any new ones rofl unless i need help with pc...

 

Thanks LogicZero

This whole situation has changed.
First it was about me and my daughter.,and i was feeling guilt and self pity along with feelings of concern for my daughter.

Now i am just boiling pissed and it is about HER,Me and Her loud mouthed Fiancee
Still with concern for my daughter.

Like i said i will not ever get custody unless she is dead or goes to jail.
But i will win this child support issue,then he can take his own little balls and choke on em.

I mean honestly,Real f u c k i n g manly to come at me through a myspace message when he has my cell number,also how freaking dumb due to the fact that i can save and print a email/myspace message where if he had called and i reported it yeah they could trace the call if he did not block it but they can not prove what he said if i did not have a recorder.

 

Natural Selection is alive and well my friend...

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2008.html

As for you Ace, you NEED to contact a family law attorney immediately. Your situation is too complicated and convoluted to handle all by yourself, if you keep going without legal assistance you may find your head on a spike.

 

Yah, make sure you record every conversation you have with them, copy and take pictures of all his messages to you, print them out, and I absolutely mean everything to show how THEY are bad influence on your child and store all information (make copies) be organized.

 

I have legal input from my father in law who is the ex cop/CO/supreme court officer and he is the head of 2 fathers rights organizations and is always on the public access channel among some others doing interviews and giving advice,he is also friends with a couple of GOvt reps for N.Y ie,congressmen-senator and the such as well as he represented himself in his own divorce and child custody dispute which is the longest litigated case in N.Y history,it is still going on after 15 years due to some minor complications,He also is friends with most of the judges in both county's on Long Island.

Also I may have a real good laywer take my case for free as ironically my mother in law has been using her for the 15 years against my father in law and now the lawyer and my mother in law do lunch all the time and are friends.

but if it ever comes to the order between me and my wife in court I am as good as screwed.

 

Sounds like you are all set then.

??? Not sure what you mean by that.

 

What i meant by that is this

Back when i met my wife i had one month clean
I told her i had a year clean as it had been 2 years since i had any type of girl
due to obsessive crack use,the only girls that wanted me were crack heads and i was not messin with no dirty woman,and i had just come out of 3 year relationship in which my fiancee was screwing my best friend and left me so i was in no rush to find another girl,me and my fiancee were drug buddies as well.

So my wife takes me in and takes me to all my probation and NA.AA meetings and rehab meetings.

I start using again on and off for 2 years stealing all her money,our rent money,food money everything.

We would physically fight,her starting it 85 percent of the time,she is no small woman and hits harder than any of the men that have ever hit me.

Well one time after being clean for 6 months she has me drive her to work and leaves me with the new car,All i had to do was get our son from preschool and take care of our daughter who was a few months old then get my paycheck but i was not to cash it.
All this was right after my father died and left me 30,000 and we blew it all on stupid crap (no drugs).

We were running out of money and rent was 1700 a month plus all utilities ,car payment , insurance,oil bill and what not.

so i decided to take all the toys i bought with the loot and go to the hock shop to recoup some loot plus i cashed my check thinking i could handle it.

I would have been fine but while at the shop one of my dealers walks in.
He is trying to convince me he has some good stuff and i kept saying no.
I was getting that addict feeling where you feel like your gonna crap your pants and puke waiting to get your fix.
He persisted for the half hour the guy at the shop took to price all my stuff.

I finally gave in when he held his hand out full of rocks and said this one is on me (it was like 80 worth of ****)

So now i am driving around with the kids smoking ****=worst thing i have ever done and feel like the biggest scum to this day.

I wound up at my mopthers at 12am ,The wife had been looking for me for hours and had called the police cause she did not know where the kids were and found crack residue on a screw driver i left in the house.

I called her from my mothers ,my mother was in Vegas so i had to kick her front door in.

The cops came with my wife boyyyy was she pissed.
I was sitting on the floor playing with the kids,the kids were laughing and were having a good time.

The cops would not arrest me no matter what she said

she said i stole the car
they said it was marital property

she said i kidnapped the kids
they said we both have rights to the kids

she said i was high
they said my eyes were dialated but it could be from my meds

she said to piss test me as i am on probation they said no

she went as far as to let out her secret that our oldest is not mine and i kidnapped him then
but my name is on his birth cert so that was a no go

the cops told me to stay at my mothers

these cops knew me from all the times my mom called them on me and i always would sit outside and talk with them about how i am trying to get clean but it is hard because of the location and what not,i could go as far as to say i respected tham and they returned the respect.
they did not even report to my P.O

but my wife did but my P.O did not violate me.

My wife said we were over (one of the mamy times she has done so ) and took me to court

She got sole custody of the 2 kids and a restraining order for a year.

She also got a child support order where we talked b4 we went in and basically i was not in a sound mind,i was going through withdrawal,seperation anxiety since i was so dependant on her and i agreed to her number of 975 a month even though i had no job.

This is now 4 years ago,it is a pay direct case where i am supposed to pay her and get a receipt.

if i did not stipulate to that number i knew we were done for good or so i thought we would be.

the courts were only gonna charge me 25 a month per kid.

I was back in the house within a month and a half,My rehab and my P.O knew i was violating a restraining order and just advised me to be careful.

The order is still in effect and i have no receipts as i am declared unemployable and i stay home and watch the kids,get our son off to school,do his hw with him,cook the meals,clean house,teach my daughter during the day and play with the baby.

She will not drop the order due to her insecurities she feels if she drops it then i will leave her and she will have nothing.

It did not help her security when we broke up here in indiana for 3 weks where she got another 2 year order and was arrested on the N.Y order but was bailed out.

this new order was a no contact order,i stayed at a meth house which belonged to the dishwasher at my job,the most fun i had in years as i did not touch a drug there but we drank every night.

he let me stay there for free,i screwed our babysitters half sister and another 19 year old girl.

I thought me and the wife were done or i would not have done that,the baby sitters sister was telling me divorce papers were being finalized and my wife was seeing someone new and all these lies.

when we went to court for me to fight the restaring order my wife dropped it
but the state would not drop the invasion of privacy they charged me with on the N.Y order.

I had a lawyer who was talking to the woman D.A for that county,she was a bitch and would not budge,The N.Y order expired in the saem month,the new order dropped ,my wife was contacting the D.A and wrote a affidavit stating she wants charges to be dropped as i am in counseling again (not drug counseling)

This started over a fight due to my paranoia cause since we moved to indie i had no counselor which meant i had none of my meds and after 6 months i was a wreck.

She agreed last year in marriage counseling to drop the order of support and vacate all arrears if i go 1 year w/o threatinign to leave her

i made it 10 months then i went off.

Now we are at a month and a half again


but every day i have to live with this over my head,and if she brings it here it is over 10 gransd so it is a instant felony

even if i go back to N.Y she resides here so they will pull me back on a felony
so i stay here and eat ****,alot of yes dear bs.

The only chance i may have is if they bring it here,is that indiana does not allow support orders in a marriage,but since it is pre existing in N.Y they may have to enforce it,i do not want to roll the dice on that as how the hell would i come up with a close amount to the 50-60 grand i owe for them to release me.

I feel there is love left in the marriage,but a lot of resentments on both ends
and a lot of insecurity on both ends.
plus we are both control freaks so it kills me to have to swallow my **** all the time.

 

all i can say is woah i aint reading that... lol :infinity: someone break it down a bit

 

you all used to complain i never used spaces between lines now i do and you still won't read LMAO

it's cool i was just answering Jack4Hire's Question

 

I read it. Seems like you need to listen to your wife.

 

Yeah, Fu cki ng sucks

She has been freaking latley cause she busts her ass at work all day and i ahve been doing nothing for like 4 weeks.

house is a mess,no dinner cooked blah blah

but i just been in a funk cause of all this other BS plus my mother was found to have the T.B germ in her and has to be on meds for a year to make sure it does not turn active,but they ran a liver test and her enzymes are messed up so they had to take her off all her meds,blood pressure and T.B meds

so i have been worried about that as well as my daughter on top of dealing with the crazy BF and court threats,and my wife got served today with papers and has a court date on march 10th due to non payment of the medical bill from having our son,which her insurance was supposed to cover 85 percent,I am at max overload.

Good thing i got 2 24 packs and a 1.5 liter bottle of ASTI.

im off to watch
UFC at the neighbors

i will be back on later.

 

I understand now.

I'll think it all over tonight and get back with you in the a.m.

Stay out of the news...

 

JACK what pisses me off the most is this
with all the street knowledge i have and all the street power i had
that i fell for such a stunt in the first place
the bright sideis i am cleaN NOW
but it came with mental weakness and a price

the only thing a lawyer said is that maybe i can claim i was under mental durest.
but it will be hard cause i made the stipulation after they asked are u being pressured into saying anything,and are you aware of whaqt you are stipulating to
and i answered yes to both in fear of losing my kids and wife.

even if that worked they still cannot vacate the arrears which is the huge amount

they can only recalculate what i would currently pay from what i understand.

 

Well crazyace, I'm a family man and I sympathize with your situation, I really do. However, since you are spilling out all of your personal business on a computer forum for discussion, I'll tell you what I think you should do.

Pick your self up, go to work and stop feeling sorry for yourself and worrying about mistakes you've made in the past that you have little or no control over.

Focus your love and attention on your wife and children (that are in your custody) and do what's best for them. Be humble and work hard everyday and you will gain the respect of everyone around you, especially your family.

Spend more time with the family and less time typing text walls on forums or worrying about ghetto threats from the x wife's boy friend on my space.

When you come home from work, clean the house a bit, help the kids with homework or have some dinner ready for the wife who's been busting here ass at work all day.

That's what being a Husband / Father / Man is really all about.