Advice

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by easy2007, Jan 29, 2008.

  1. easy2007

    easy2007 Maha Guru

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    really like this girl for liek the last month maybe bit longer. incredible confused. how do i get her to notice that i like her. i mean i have been trying by asking her when she's free and wot she's up 2 etc but i have got answers from 'im doing this and that etc' which then progressed to 'i dont know' then i asked if i could come over the answer went from 'maybe' to 'when' which is like the most annoying answer i could ever get. anyway if u want me to exaplin in more detail plz ask i will try. and yh any advice on how to get her to notice im interested in her would be nice.

    oh and no stupid comments plz.
     
  2. dcx_badass

    dcx_badass Ancient Guru

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    There goes my contribution to the thread....
     
  3. JohnMaclane

    JohnMaclane Ancient Guru

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    hmm first off i dont know if the nets is a good place for advice,

    secondly just relax and ask her directly if she says no there's always other stuff to do.
     
  4. scipio

    scipio Ancient Guru

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    No stupid comments??? are you kidding me? That's going to be the majority of your responses
     

  5. easy2007

    easy2007 Maha Guru

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    yh i know ive talked to freinds about it. i know nets probably not best place but i need as much advice as i can get. i dont know who else to talk to this about and im starting to wonder if i should jsut give up.
     
  6. ManofGod

    ManofGod Ancient Guru

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    Quote: the answer went from 'maybe' to 'when'.

    I am confused a bit here. Unless I am misreading the post, she just said when would you like to come over, sounds like a yes to me.

    Joe
     
  7. easy2007

    easy2007 Maha Guru

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    yh it sounds like a yes to me. but then i siad now. she siad i have work. then i said saturday she said she's seeing freinds i sia dsunday she said work. u get the picture. i asked her when she was free she said i dont know. and now im bk at sqaure one.
     
  8. ManofGod

    ManofGod Ancient Guru

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    Honestly, I would just back off and find someone else. If she is interested, she will then seek you out when she sees you are going the other direction.

    Joe
     
  9. dcx_badass

    dcx_badass Ancient Guru

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    I've always found that Chloroform soaked on a rag works well, just say to them hey does this smell of chloroform, and before they know it they'll be unconcious, then well just have fun.

    Or if you're more nervous, get a large blunt object and hit them round the head(make sure you do it from behind so they don't recognise you, incase she goes to the police), then you can take her back to yours or an underpass or whatever, and do what ever you like.
     
  10. easy2007

    easy2007 Maha Guru

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    hmm thats jsut wrong. and i said no stupid comments. look i like this girl but im not goign to find ways to take advantage of her. thats jsut wrong.
     

  11. Ex4000

    Ex4000 Master Guru

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    Carve her name into your forehead
     
  12. JACK4HIRE

    JACK4HIRE Ancient Guru

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    I read that the same way as you.

    Dude, asking a woman out is like selling a car or any other piece of merchandise except you are selling yourself and that requires confidence.

    I suggest you read immediately "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and "How to have Power and Confidence in Dealing with People" as there seems to be a lack of confidence here, none the less that is perfectly understandable if a person is young and or inexperienced.

    A confident (not cocky) and concerned persona is the best to have in sales.

    It sounds like you already have a rapport with this girl so lets move on.

    A good salesman does not hear the first half dozen "no’s" or "objections" from a customer. Instead the good salesman handles these objections and gets the customer to start saying yes by asking questions that the customer will most likely respond 'yes' to.

    Just so we're clear, I'm not talking about "date rape".

    The primary reason a person fails to make a sale in any arena is they don't know how to "close the sale" or they know how to but are afraid to.

    They are afraid to say "can I wrap that up for you" or "how many [insert item] would you like me to ring up"?

    When you ask this girl out and she says "when"? then you say how about we see a movie on Friday around 7pm? If she objects to that then handle the objection and move forward again with the close.

    If she is only window shopping and is not really even interested in buying anything then you can always leave her with a favorable impression so that if she becomes interested that door will still be open.

    If she flatly says no then I suggest that you find someone else to sell yourself too as the best way to gain experience and learn the proper way to handle rejection is get out there and experience it directly.

    OR you can slap her in the face and call her a lesbian like Scipio said. :bang:
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2008
  13. scipio

    scipio Ancient Guru

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    Ask her to have sex and if she refuses, slap her and call her a lesbian.
     
  14. easy2007

    easy2007 Maha Guru

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    thx jack4hire. that was actually some pretty gd advice. and scipio jsut so inappropiate. yh im not the most confident of people i also find it hard to read people and i made some pretty bad mistakes. which could be one of the reasons this hasnt gone further. i have opertunities where i could of tryed to seal the deal as u put it but havent quite got there. because i dont knwo trying to think of the right way to put it maybe and also confidence. yh ok im young and inexperinced so obviously not the best combination. ill try and be more confident by i guess finsihing wot i intended to do.
     
  15. biglonglenthman

    biglonglenthman Maha Guru

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    Very nicely put, i have to say being able to handle rejection is very very important, if your scared then just bite the bullit and go for it, it may work out and if it doesnt then leave and make sure you dont beat your self up about it just smile and move on :)
     

  16. senior98

    senior98 Ancient Guru

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    Try hitting her.
     
  17. dcx_badass

    dcx_badass Ancient Guru

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    If Chloroform and blunt objects is a bit drastic you could just use the good old Vodka. 1litre should do it.
     
  18. W@w@Y

    W@w@Y Ancient Guru

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    thanks man that gave me a good laugh :D

    Anyway, It seems that her responses are a polite way of saying "no".. so what i would do is just to (if i really liked her) lay low for a while in trying to ask her out.
    Go easy on the asking out approach IMO since it seems it isnt working, Go slow and steady..let her "notice" you (in a good and interesting way) first, then establish "connection" then when there is an opportunity to ask her out (in a casual manner) then thats when you do it :)

    Avoid the formal approach in asking her out since it doesnt seem to work based on what ive read
     
  19. JACK4HIRE

    JACK4HIRE Ancient Guru

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    There's no point in downing yourself about any of this. There are very few people out there who have not been where you are now. I noticed at a very young age that people who were not afraid to ask for what they wanted usually got what they were asking for. I just learned from that and applied it to my life.

    I learned sales the hard way - by getting people to think it was a good idea for them to cooperate when being arrested or be willing to confess to having committed a crime. That is not an easy sell I'll tell you what.

    After having done that for awhile getting dates was easy as most girls weren’t from the very start of the dialog wanting to kick my ass, kill me or escape. That came later once they got to know me, but I digress. :)

    In addition to reading those books, maybe you could find a part time job in sales be it cars, stereos etc. Find material from a company called NARDA.

    As for how to "put it" I suggest a direct statement made in a friendly and relaxed tone. Anything else comes across as wishy-washy and most people don't like that. You can "finesse" all you want, but you are not going to make very many sales.

    Finesse is used in the beginning when you are establishing rapport with the customer and then in handling objection. When it comes time to close the sale be direct.

    "Hey Stacy, are you available to go to/see [insert the name of a specific restaurant/movie], say Friday at 7 pm or would Saturday at 6 pm be better"? At this phase be specific and don’t ask open ended questions that will get you a convoluted answer or another objection.

    Does she want to buy what you’re selling or not?

    If she offers an objection, clear it and move again for the close.

    If she says I would rather see/ go to [insert movie/ restaurant] at {insert date and time] then go with that if acceptable.

    This is risky for an inexperienced salesman, but you could always ask her up front if she is just window shopping.

    Here is an example:

    I have said to many suspects who looked like they were going to break bad "sir/ madam, is there anything I can do or say that would cause you to not fight with me"? Sometime the suspect would say immediately "fvck no coper, I'm going to kick your mother fvcking ass". I would then draw something from the old bat belt and deal with it.

    More often then not they would offer an objection like "I don't want my children to see me in handcuffs" or "I didn't mean to kill her it was an accident and I don't want to go to jail for murder". I would then do or say something to clear those objections as long as it didn't compromise the safety of anyone and then I would go for the close again.

    Another important think is to genuinely listen to the customer as almost always a customer will tell you how to clear their objection without any prompting from you. Often the objection is the unmet need to be genuinely listened to and understood by the person making the sale.

    Good luck and good hunting.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2008
  20. easy2007

    easy2007 Maha Guru

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    thx for the advice. and yes i am aware that its likely that i will have to move on. in other words i have actually prepared my self more for rejection than her saying yes. i will see how it goes and probably with in the next month and then pop the question. as i really need to know. thx for the help. i might post bk and tell ya how it went on the other hand i might not if ya get wot i mean.
     

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