My wife lied to me

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by sepulchre, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. Nemes1s

    Nemes1s Master Guru

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    I have no words anymore. Just.... nope.... nothing....
     
  2. sepulchre

    sepulchre Master Guru

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    I just bought her a phone , cost me £100 , should i take it back?
    IE why did she take it from me?
     
  3. Ade 1

    Ade 1 Master Guru

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    Just include it in the divorce settlement.
     
  4. illdrag0n

    illdrag0n Guest

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    When i was having trouble with my parter, i started watching videos with relationship advise.

    Heres a good one that made me see things a bit clearer:

    http://alturl.com/p749b
     

  5. AlxFitz

    AlxFitz Maha Guru

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    Apologies I was skimming, sorry to hear about how things ended up.
     
  6. AlxFitz

    AlxFitz Maha Guru

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    Should add that I used to do a similar thing but that was because some of my friends were apparently a "bad influence".
     
  7. IcE

    IcE Don Snow

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    How is it overreaction or "paranoia" at all? I'm having a difficult time understanding how so many of you are sitting in this opinion boat. Have none of you ever had a girlfriend or wife, I mean seriously? Any sort of big lie like that will really screw up the trust factor in a relationship.

    Ah I see, shame it came down to that but she was most likely doing something besides visiting a "friend" that one night and maybe lots of others.
     
  8. Paul L

    Paul L Guest

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    Sorry to hear you're having a tough time sepulchre. Not sure it helps but you're
    not the only one, it seems a lot of girls are lacking a certain respect at this current
    time. A friend of mine has been through something as bad with his long time partner.

    Just keep your chin up. Try to avoid the issue creating a wall between you that
    colours the quality of your love for her. I've seen how pre-empting the connotations
    of such issues will drive a cold wedge between a couple. You've got to try &
    stay a viable partner in her eyes. You haven't said that she's cheated on you
    so you still have a better chance than most to get things back on track.
    Just avoid doing the booze too much. Vodkas hard, try Gin & orange juice it's
    a bit smoother. Best wishes.
     
  9. BorTriggerHappy

    BorTriggerHappy Master Guru

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    Pathological Lying
    Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
    This is one mannerism of a Sociopath.

    Your wife saying she didn't know why she lied is the giveaway.
     
  10. sepulchre

    sepulchre Master Guru

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    Thanks ICE, you know how i feel.
    @Paul, best response i ever read , thanks my friend.

    PS to late on the vodka advice lol.
     

  11. Nemes1s

    Nemes1s Master Guru

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    Definitely polishing another mans bone.
     
  12. Labyrinth

    Labyrinth Ancient Guru

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    Look at the first page at what he clearly stated happened to him when he was younger that would amount to trusting issues

    But anyway sepulchre I'm sorry to hear about that but I would still think about talking to your GP regarding the past as I sense it is doing some real damage psychological wise
     
  13. kanej2007

    kanej2007 Guest

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    I had a similar problem, luckily we were only together for 3 months, not many years like youreslf and neither did we have kids like yourself...

    I'm unsure if she ever lied to me or not but just as you mentioned she lost interest for whatever reason and left me saying she didn't fancy me anymore nor did she have any feelings for me...

    This just happened one random day, never did she talk about it, nothing, just happened one day...

    Sometimes women can be just fukced up, there is something wrong or something bothering them and instead of saying something they just do whatever is in their head, in your case lied and did something behind your back...

    My only suggestion is what many others have already said, TALK to her, see what's bothering her, what she wants, why this happened, etc...

    Good luck mate...
     
  14. AbjectBlitz

    AbjectBlitz Ancient Guru

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    Their all the same, some are just more covert.

    Then once you catch on they all blame you for it for being insensitive and not in touch with their emotions. You drove them straight on to another mans bone.

    Just get the shovel out.
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2011
  15. Mufflore

    Mufflore Ancient Guru

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    Its sad so many people are having a dig at you when you have only the best interests of your relationship at heart and you came here for help.

    It looks like you already have a good clue.
    She didnt/doesnt see you as someone to confide in or talk to.
    That makes it difficult for her to explain things or even tell you what she is doing, especially if she is going to different friends house to discuss the relationship.

    Its too easy to stop talking and I think this is crucial.
    After you know someone for a long time and settle into a routine, you can run out of things to say other than humdrum life issues.
    This means there isnt much in the way of fun or new experiences.
    She may not be able to fully rationalise and like most people she is acting on how she feels.

    So there probably isnt anything going on just yet other than she is bored.
    She lied about why she went to a different friends house possibly for many reasons that she cant quickly explain.
    This may not be a sign of a sociopath, it might be because she feels really guilty telling you why it really happened when its related to how she feels about the relationship, especially when she doesnt feel she can talk to you.


    Letting the relationship run a very loose course may be part of the problem.
    I dont know how much you do together, but its worth considering doing an activity related pursuit that gets you both doing something together, so you have new experiences together and something to discuss or even bring up around friends.
    Put a bit (not so much that you cant sustain) of effort into making the relationship a bit more dynamic.

    Good luck :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2011

  16. sepulchre

    sepulchre Master Guru

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    @ kane and mufflore
    thanks, is all i can say atm.
     
  17. slick3

    slick3 Guest

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    I say confront her about it, don't let it build. It's like a snowball, it starts small but builds on itself, get's huge until ... well, we all know. Ask her nicely though, however insert it in your everyday conversation. Ask her where she was the other day, if she lies .... then say that you saw her at another friends house, and tell her to explain it to you.

    My guts says it's just a big misunderstanding, talk with her about it, clear things up !
     
  18. Pill Monster

    Pill Monster Banned

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    Haha that made me laugh... :D
     
  19. sepulchre

    sepulchre Master Guru

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    hi i have an update, i fell asleep cause i had to much vodka.
    My wife is at her friends, cause i dont restrict her movements, but i have phoned her twice in the last hour.
    Should i continue to phone her on the hour or let it be ?

    I really don't wanna be possessive.
     
  20. AbjectBlitz

    AbjectBlitz Ancient Guru

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    You just trolling now?
     

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