I don't usually do this, but i have none else to ask that can keep a secret. My wife lied to me about where she went the other night. She told me she went to one friends house, but she went to a different friends house. I don't understand why, i've never stopped her doing whatever she wanted or going where she wanted,,,, so why lie to me? Now i find i can't even talk to her. I can't look her in the eye, i don't even know what to say.
Maybe ask her? If she denies it, then tell her you know the truth. Honesty is the cornerstone of any marriage. Was the friend a man?
how did you find this out? there are a lot of different potential explanations, but dishonesty is inherently suspicious. it could be something stupid, or it could be a big deal...
Maybe she, uhm, changed her mind and went somewhere else. Turns out women are humans with free choice. Why are you following your wife around? Its one thing if she's going to an old boyfriends house, quite another going to a friends house.
Lie in marriage is so terrible. White lies r k but some serious lie that may poison mans heart, is so terrible. Hope u figure things out in good way.
I'm sure this is exactly what she'll ask. And without answering this this can't be resolved. Just start talking and let it all out (doubts, suspicions, fears). If its leading to the end of the relationship it would have led there eventually anyway. Get this over with.
Firstly , I'm not one of these "you can't do anything without my say so" type of guys. She has total freedom, in our marriage. (im not the possessive type). Secondly, i never followed her around, i just had a feeling that she was lying. Thirdly, it was a stupid lie, she told me she was was going to one girl friends house but went to anothers, and made up a story about why. I would never have stopped her going to either friends house so why lie to me? Im in shock atm, i just never expected this, i always trusted my wife. I may have to re-evaluate our relastionship.
In my life i have been abused physically, mentally and sexually. I thought i had got myself sorted with a great wife, now its all been exposed as a lie. Im confused, i can't talk to her cause i don't know what to say. I trusted her. I think ill get drunk.
Seriously? You are really overreacting a tad because she decided to visit a different friend. Ask for some good make-up sex then just carry on as is.
You ever had a relationship based on trust ? Once that trust is broken its difficult to gety back on track. and NO, the problem a'int where she went, its with the fact that she lied about where she went and even made up a story for me about why she went .
Oh god, please be trolling. Dude, you're the one stalking your wife. You clearly have serious serious trust issues. Unless this was a male house she went alone to, you're seriously overreacting.
No, you have trust issues because you automatically assume she lied to you. Plans ****ing change. Also, and this may state the obvious: you.are.stalking.your.wife. Obviously if she's out boning the milkman you have issues. i don't see that here. I see her saying "Honey, I'm going to Jenny's" then getting a text from Sally telling her to come to her house instead. Not telling you her every movement is normal, and you wanting to know her location isn't healthy. You should speak with a shrink, not your wife because these control and trust issues have a way of leading to terrible things.
He thinks she lied about it. That doesn't mean she did. Changing plans isn't lying. I've seen no actual evidence of lying here and more importantly, no motivation for lying unless is is a support group for women in controlling relationships. Good relationships are based on trust. Trust means that you don't assume your wife is doing something nefarious because she went to a different girlfriend's house. Again, if this was more serious than this, he would have mentioned it already. edit: Holy crap, OP you're 51? Damn.
I'm with the OP. My relationship is based on trust. I NEVER lie to my GF and I expect the same. Lying is not just about the incident, it exposes a lack of respect and tells you that she would have no problem lying to you again...so how can you trust a known liar? I found this out the hard way too. People don't change. O.P, just confront her ( if you're certain she was lying ) and get it sorted out.
Yes, I am married myself, and have had the same partner for 8 years now. Sometimes, I say I will be home at 8, then piss it up till 12. Does my relationship get re-assessed? No.
Sounds like you have a bad case of Paranoia along with multiple other issues Personally I would see your doctor and ask for a referral to a the primary mental health team
Well, to stay realisic here, sometimes a little hunch of something can be how the end of a relationship goes down in flames. One of my closest friends had this. He had a nice girl for about 6 years and was about to marry her (he kinda was looking what kind of ring he could afford) when one day he witnessed her getting an SMS on her handy and when he asked she went all quiet and went out to read it. A short discussion of 'is everything ok?' or trust was what followed. Not a big issue right? Several months later he found out she was *SPAM* her ex for months. Needless to say he had a lot of sleepness nights for the next 2 years. I'd say one needs to find out the whole truth ASAP. Less stalking, more talking. NOW.
He'd know better than you if she did or didn't lie, he was there, so why are you just assuming she hasn't?
