Another epic chapter in my life advice needed

Just to inform you all

I just got off the phone with the judge for our intial custody hearing since the mother filed for sole custody.

I was unsure on how to respond to the petition,but i decided full custody on my behalf was the way to go.

The mother blew up in the court room,stating numerous lies like i never call my daughter(i was not provided with a number and am told she does not want to talk to me)
(which is not true cause when she is with my mom she calls me 6 times a day)

among many other things

I will inform on the final decision as they are going to appoint a law guardian for my daughter and she will be contacting me for my information.

But to protect this case and the integrity of the situation i will not disclose anything further until it is over.

 

omg wht a bitch ur ex is.....
i hope u get full custody asap

 

I do now feel guilty as my daughter has bad anxiety issues where she can't breathe and now she has to go through this court case and know daddy is trying to take her from mommy,plus her seizures are triggered by stress.

I hope this is not to hard on her but she is only 8 so i think it is gonna hit her hard.

 

your ex seems really immature... how old are you and how old is she???

 

I will be 28 soon and she is 10 months older than me and 7 months younger than my wife

 

I am having a very hard time with this custody battle.

My ex had my daughter call me last night as ordered by the judge me and my daughter talked a bit and she said she had to go to bed,then her mother in the backround said no no.
My daughter than said i want to live with mommy and tom,the rest of my family is here and i will miss them and my sister and nana.

I said i am not trying to hurt you and i really do not feel it is a conversation i should have with you but know i have your best interest in mind and i love you and you have a family here as well.

My ex took the phone and said how dare i discuss anything with her and kept egging me into telling her how i think she is a bad parent,I kept telling her i am not discussing anything but them she started insulting and cursing me,then her bf took the phone and said how i am dissing his fam and something to the tune of he is not scared to do 90 days in the county like i am and that i am a bitch.

My daughter was right there even know i kept saying you should not be discussing this in front of my daughter,

She admitted it was her bf that cursed my wife on the phone and made all the obscenities towards my wife and me,due to me threatening him ,they are referring to this part of an email message (I better not here my daughter got any **** for talking to me).

She proceeded to bring up all the dirt she has on me which is all 3-4 years old from when i was using/recovering.

Then towards the end she said (see this is why i do not want you talking to him) and i hear my daughter crying and telling her mom to stop.

By me pushing forward it is going to create more stress for my daughter and she may resent me,If i do nothing she may resent me when she gets older.

I am very heartbroken that she was crying last night,I can also put myself in her ***** and if i was told my father was trying to take me from my mother i would lose it and be a mess.

 

Well as an update I won the childsupport case and the violation was waived and I owe nothing and have to pay nothing.Had no lawyer for this case did it all myself...I am rather proud of mself.

Now we have the next cutody hearing next tuesday,I have a court appointed lawyer but he is a real lawyer that took the case pro-bono,took me awhile to get his ass in gear and to actully fight instead of coming to an agreement,He thinks we will lose though do to me living out of state and N.Y. state rarely put's a child in the other parents care out of state.

 

That's great crazyace! Congratulations!

Good luck for the custody hearing.

 

thanks Cyber

 

Glad to hear the good news I wish you the best with the upcoming hearing.

 

Thanks Strom.

I really feel acomplished.

This childsupport hearing went on for 4 months now and the basis of the fight was that the last order stated (due to consent of the petitioner (my ex) this child support order is lowered to 25 dollars a month a further more suspended until the defendandt is gainfuly employed) it further states that there is no enforcement to be taken against me.

This judge was not reading the order correctly so this went on for 4 months or so and
she denied me representation due to me being ot of state ( although the custody judge gave me a lawyer) and she was an overall bitch.

they did a dicovery hearing on me where I provied my medical records and a work one report t show I have not worked.

So I went and called the superiors at the collection agency and the social service dept that manages the childsupport cases and they both said I owe nothing.

This judge insisted I owe 25 a month and had more money built up against me.

Today I got through to her and she reread the order and appologized for her mistake and instantly dismissed the case and said it can not be brought up again unless my ex knows I am gainfully employed.

I told the judge i am pending SSI and she said that the SSI is money they can not collect on ,I told her that I want to pay and at such a time I get SSI We can revisit this in court nd depending on what I get I will make an offer on monthly payments,She saw this as a generous act.

My point was not to not have to pay child support but to get justice meaning my ex stipulated to X and is now in court claiming Z and the judge is claiming Z as well so it was up to me to prove the law of the case was still X.

 

cool, good news ace

 

Yeah it is pretty cool.

I mean s h i t after 4 months of arguing what a piece of paper right in front of the judges face said and being told I am misunderstanding the order I was quite pleased to be able to basically shove it up their asses.

 

I like cheese but that's besides the point it sucks you have to put up with your ex's shenanigans anyhow you have a nice rig with a DVD burner I assume look up warez-bb an download burn all the movies tv shows you want until you can get cable again.Good luck

 

I hate this crap..I am just sitting here waiting for the judge to call to teleconference me in for the custody hearing...my nerves are shot and I am trying to get into the serious focused mode I need to be in but it is just not happening.

I sent my daughter her own prepaid phone and guess what ...she got it yesterday and her mom and the fiancee were out and she called me 7 times throuh out the night and 3 times today but today pissed me off cause the ex and her man were asleep and my daughter was trying to put the baby to sleep.

This just goes to show the they keep her from calling me,Today in court my lawyer said we will keep it simple and just focus on getting her to be able to come here on the 16th with my mother and not get into any of the ex bashing issues this way there is no tension on my daughter between now and her visit.

See if they knew my daughter told me that she was watching the baby they are both gonna scream on her for it and punish her but I have to make the court aware and hopefully she does not resent me for it and feel like he can't talk openly to me but I need to show the mother's character.

I am very torn over this right now.

 

Be cool man...be cool. Say as little as you have to and let your lawyer do most of the talking.

No matter what questions are asked of you, make sure your answers clearly convey your concern for your daughter and nothing else. Don't even mention your Ex unless you have to and then angle things towards '[insert your daughter’s name] and her mother has different ideas on how [insert your daughter’s name] should be raised, however; I am looking forward to working with [your Ex's name] in resolving these issues despite the problems we may have had in the past...all for our daughters sake.

 

wow, I went through the hole thing, I've read it.......

Men , I thought my life was complicated....but I have to admit ; damm, I wouldn't like to be on crazyace s h o e s......

Crazy, you need to put your feelings aside and take some ppl / lawer, etc to work for your goals (like you did already)..........

If you really think your daughter will have a better future with you; go for it, but put fellings away of the hole process you need to be cool as ice and objective........

good luck

 

I went in cool and my lawyer focused on the visit on aug 16th and the law guardian(my daughters court appointed lawyer) objected to the visit saying that my daughter told her that she is not comfortable around me,she does not want to come here and that she witnessed a domestic last time they visited 2 years ago between my mom and my wife (verbal) which resulted in my mother having to go to a hotel and my daughter went bu choice.

The judge denied the visit based on the law guardian and the mothers objection so I told the law guardian (because my lawyer froze up) (court appointed pro bono real lawyer) that my daughter called me 6 times last night and said she wants to come here and can not wait to play with her brother and sister and she misses us I further said how my daughter is scared to say this to her mopther because she is being told what to say and does it out of fear of being punished at home.

The law guardian last time said the only way a visit would be allowed would be if my mother was to accompany my daughter and now denies it.

Further more she said I need to take things slow because I am a starnger to my daughter and phone contact first and that I need to visit N.Y. to see my daghter without my wife and kids,I told her I have no means to travel and about how I do not do crowds or public places and am on medication. I also stated how I am not a starnger and how in Ny we had my daughter all wekk long after school cause my ex worked and every other weekend,It was not until her mother met her BF that she stopped letting her call me and changed her cell number.

I mailed my daughter a prepaid cell causee the court ordered last month that i send a phone card which was a waste,I lost the adress and had to obtain it so the phone got mailed late and made it there 2 days ago which they said looks like I am not that interested in talking to my daughter.

My ex then went to say that my Mother is not a constant in my daughter life (which she is and has been the only) and how I took off for 3 days with my kids to get crack (this was over 4 years ago and I was gone 5 hours and never intended on getting high and My ex was there when the cops came and she was the one that kept me from getting arrested) (she also did drugs with me back then )

I went to defend and the judge was done listening and made the denial of visitation motion and scheduled a date in October to resume the case.

Now I need to explain to my daughter why she can not come cause my ex is going to make it my fault,and I bet my mother does not get my daughter this week now or any week in the near future which is going to scar my daughter badly,but my daughter will continue to be a puppet out of fear.

Cps found their situation fine because it is only temporary and she sent her scumb bad fiancee out with the baby when they were on the way.

My daughters law guardian does not contact me or my mother but is supposed to find what is in the childs best interest,,,it is mnore like my ex has 2 lawyers.

This may just have to go to trial.

 

This may sound cruel but either go for full custody or do not talk about it anymore. Your daughter is in a dangerous situation and that is all that matters, not your feelings or your exes either. (Oops, should have read further in the thread, sorry.) What is your lawyer doing about it?

Oh, and before anyone says, "easy for him to say.....", I have not seen my daughter in 11 years so I guess it is not so easy. (Thankfully we do talk though.)