Vault of Fail #9 - RTFM

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by Glidefan, Jan 18, 2011.

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  1. W@w@Y

    W@w@Y Ancient Guru

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    http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=101

    Original ad:
    Hello. I am a responsible young professional looking to sublet a studio or 1 br apt in or around East village. I am looking to move in on Mar 15. 2000/mo is my budget. Thans
    From Me to **********@********.org:

    Hey,

    I am leaving for London on business and need to sublet my studio apartment immediately. It is a beautiful spacious apartment in the East Village (near Tompkins Square Park). Rent is $1750/month and you can move in as soon as February 25th. Please let me know if you are interested.

    Regards,

    Mike

    From Ari ****** to Me:

    Hi Mike thanks for responding. A few questions: how big is the apt? how long can is the lease til? do you have any pics or a floor plan? I want to move in on mar 15- is that ok?

    From Me to Ari ******:

    March 15th is fine with me. The apartment is 370 square feet. I don't have any pictures, but I have included a floor plan to give you an idea of the layout of the apartment. The lease is up in November 2011, but you have the option to renew if you wish. Please let me know if you have any more questions about the apartment.

    Mike

    Attachments:

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    From Ari ****** to Me:

    Mike did you send me the wrong plan or is there really a pool in your apartment.

    From Me to Ari ******:

    Oh, yes. I should have mentioned the pool. I had an exercise pool installed in the apartment because I was training for a swimming marathon. It is a really nice pool. It is 39 inches deep with powerful jets and a vinyl liner. The pool is great if you like to swim.

    Mike

    From Ari ****** to Me:

    Thats a pretty important thing to forget to mention, doncha think?! It takes up the whole f-ing apartment! How is there no bathroom?? Where am I supposed to shower and sleep?

    From Me to Ari ******:

    I know, it is a really nice pool. I usually use the kitchen as the bathroom. You can either pee in the sink, or out the window. The window overlooks an alley behind 5th St, and most of the time nobody walks below you. Even if you do piss on someone, you are on the 7th floor so they will probably have no idea where it came from. By the time it hits them, you will most likely be zipped up and have the window shut. The sink has a garbage disposal in case you need to take a dump.

    Showering? You don't need to shower - you have a pool! Just go for a swim any time you are trying to wash off.

    Sleep? I've got that covered too. I have an extremely comfortable pool raft I sleep on. It is like sleeping on a waterbed! It has a couple of cup holders you can put your phone/keys/beer/whatever in. I'll include this with the apartment for an extra $10.

    I am free tomorrow if you want to check the place out and fill out the sublet papers.

    Mike

    From Ari ****** to Me:

    Hmm well yes that does sound nice, but I am looking for a place where I dont have to **** in my sink and sleep in a goddamn pool. Come on man! Good luck finding someone to rent you'll need it!

    From Me to Ari ******:

    You don't have to **** in the sink, it is just an option. You can also **** out the window, or **** in a bucket next to the window and dump it out the window. There is an Indian restaurant that backs up to the alley, so it already smells like **** down there.

    At least come over and try my raft before you decide that sleeping in a pool is a bad thing. I'll even throw in a couple of pool noodles for free.

    Mike

    From Ari ****** to Me:

    Stop trying to sell me your POS apartment, if you can even call it that. You know what makes an apartment an apartment? A bed. Bathroom. Furnature. NOT A ****ING POOL.

    Why am I arguing with you? This is ****ing ridiculous. Conversation over.

    From Me to Ari ******:

    Why are you so afraid of sleeping in this pool? Be honest, do you not know how to swim? If so, I can give you the number of a good lifeguard I know.

    From Ari ****** to Me:

    Shut the hell up. I hope you drown in your pool!
     
  2. "Born"_*Leader*

    "Born"_*Leader* Banned

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  3. W@w@Y

    W@w@Y Ancient Guru

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    Obviously this bitch knew her place.

     
  4. WhiteLightning

    WhiteLightning Don Illuminati Staff Member

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    playing chess and drinking a glass of wine will get you fined over here :(
     

  5. WhiteLightning

    WhiteLightning Don Illuminati Staff Member

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    For the ones that were lucky enough to see the arsenal - barcelona match yesterday.
    best match of this season imho.

    the win of the evening ':p

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Tat3

    Tat3 Ancient Guru

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    @ "Born"_*Leader* :

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    This is not an art thread...

    And moar pictures:

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  7. thecake90

    thecake90 Guest

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  8. iPp

    iPp Active Member

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  9. "Born"_*Leader*

    "Born"_*Leader* Banned

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  10. "Born"_*Leader*

    "Born"_*Leader* Banned

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    Do you honetsly believe that after the trife in my own threads?!?!

    1. ID theft
    2. Verbal abuse and harrassment!?!?

    The truth is I bee spamming this one for REVENGE!!!

    :banana:
     

  11. WhiteLightning

    WhiteLightning Don Illuminati Staff Member

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    football in russia atm

    its -17

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  12. Iggyblack

    Iggyblack Guest

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    come on man, if you can't be bothered to stay on topic and post actual fail/funny pics, then dont post at all.




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    Last edited: Feb 17, 2011
  13. Anubis

    Anubis Ancient Guru

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  14. Iggyblack

    Iggyblack Guest

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    her face lol
     
  15. killerxr290

    killerxr290 Banned

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    Still dont get it but id still tap that
     

  16. WhiteLightning

    WhiteLightning Don Illuminati Staff Member

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    bag over the head, and for the fatherland
     
  17. sk8zophrenia

    sk8zophrenia Guest

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    true. its really cold in my place, around -15 to -20
    i even got text message warning that temp would drop to -32 from 16th to 20th feb
     
  18. WhiteLightning

    WhiteLightning Don Illuminati Staff Member

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    i dont know if you drink, but now is a good time to start i think hehe :)
     
  19. Skiddywinks

    Skiddywinks Ancient Guru

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    Did you guys even bother looking at the face?! I know we are men at the end of the day, but come on!

    EUGH
     
  20. sk8zophrenia

    sk8zophrenia Guest

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    there i fixed it
     
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