Dude at work is a real smartass and I need some good ammo for monday I found a few on the net but I need more 1- Wipe your mouth. There's still a tiny bit of bull**** around your lips. 2- If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth. Help a guru out please/....:banana: Edit: all insults will be greatly appreciated!
Q:What's the difference between your mother and a pitbull (Or whatever ugly animal you choose here)? A:Lipstick
If I had a face like yours, I would shave my ass and walk backwards. I would like to insult you, but I'm afraid that I wouldn't do as well as Nature did. I don't hate you, but I'm not exactly excited about your existence either.
Got a couple jokes. Q1: How are you and a coconut similar? A1: Thickheaded. 2: Tell them to say "Milk Milk Milk ..." really fast, then ask them after 10 seconds or so Q2: What do cows drink? A2: Water (but you want them to say milk for a laugh )
Your pc is so sh1t you won't even see the tire smoke I'm leaving for you. (was playing dirt3 once with a friend)
Hitchens commenting on the late Jerry Falwell: "If you gave Falwell an enema he could be burried in a matchbox." this is probably the best way to tell that someone is full of ****.
To say to an old guy if he happens to be skinny: "How old is this guy, like 90? He looks like a stick wrapped in wax paper. When he cums does dust come out?" It was used on Hugh Hefner to poke fun at him on his televised roast.
You may not be good, but you sure are slow. When you were born, the doctor slapped your mama. Once, you had a clue. But it died of loneliness.
Insult will backfire, if you have any respect left for yourself: ignorance is bliss. Smartass will get what he deserved, dont lower yourself.
With above said. "Your existance is the saddest thing I've witnessed. You act like a clueless animal, trying desperetely to satisfy your pathetic life while hurting others. World and society is much better without you. You are mistake and dont belong here. Make humanity a favor by killing yourself, thank you."
Sort of related, a work colleague was holding me up work wise, so I went over to her desk just to chase it up. She apologised for taking so long and something along the lines of 'I know it's frustrating when someone else is holding you up'. I was distracted by thinking about half a dozen other things I had do do, so rather than politely replying that it wasn't a problem (which would've been my normal response), I Freudian slipped and just simply said 'yes'. Two other nearby work colleagues who I get on really well with burst into laughter at the sudden abruptness of my response .