Ashleigh Brilliant cracks me up.. some of his quotes/insults. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right. others... A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. - Groucho Marx I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? - Charles Pierce He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. - Forrest Tucker Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice. - unknown
You have a charming wife. But tell me, how did you teach her to walk on her hind legs? I'm busy now, can I ignore you another time? So you've changed your mind? Does this one work any better?
I like "Yogisms" myself, Baseball is 90% mental the other half is physical. I didn't really say everything I said. Pair up in threes.
By using your intelligence you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated EDIT: And now for the insult: You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
Clarksonisms (Jeremy Clarkson): I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen. This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!' On the Enzo Ferrari : "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing." The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite. The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.