Fitting in vs standing out

Discussion in 'The Guru's Pub' started by proFits, Mar 15, 2013.

  1. proFits

    proFits Guest

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    You have to understand that some people, such as myself, are timid. Some, most of the times, just want to be left alone and ignored. Camouflaged from mockery or persecution.

    For example, asians using americanized names so people stop butchering their names. They just want to ''fit in'' to our xenophobic ways.

    I am xenophobic myself. Not racist; I am naturally scared of people I don't know (regardless of race). To some extent, it is part of human nature to reject either change or intruders/strangers.

    Either way, my point is that, being timid, I prefer getting around not talking to anyone, except colleagues, during a full workday, apart from casual greetings. So my need to ''fit in'' comes from a psychological trouble (which then relates to a biological imbalance).
     
  2. GreenSmoke

    GreenSmoke Member Guru

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    I don't go out of my way to make myself stand out, but I also definitely do not purposely hide my presence by blending into the masses. Mostly for me it depends on the situations I enter upon knowingly or unknowingly

    However I am always starting off as just an "observer(lurker as some call it)" until I further decide if my efforts in dealing with mass crowds filled with idiocy will reap any benefits for me (or if at the time I have a lady with me then 'us') and benefits being w/e I happened to decide they are at the time.
     
  3. BLEH!

    BLEH! Ancient Guru

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    Blatent metalhead, not hard to miss, really, especially in winter with my epic trenchcoat. On a personal level, I'm not loud or a particular centre of attention so if I'm sat in the corner of the pub I'm quite easy to walk past. I'm at the point now where I just don't give a crap what other people think of my style etc., so standing out isn't really an issue.
     
  4. FULMTL

    FULMTL Ancient Guru

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    If we are talking about appearence, I like to disappear into the crowd because I don't wear clothes with brands/logos largely visible on them. I have the stereotype of the person that looks normal and calm until I'm in an environment where I am comfortable.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2013

  5. sykozis

    sykozis Ancient Guru

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    I'm me.... I don't put forth any effort to fit in, nor to stand out. I'm just me. I have my own thoughts, opinions and feelings.

    Personally, I think those that go out of their way to fit in, are pathetic....and those that go out of their way to stand out, are attention starved. I don't care for being around people that are scared to simply be themselves.
     
  6. airbud7

    airbud7 Guest

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    Yes^....I'm Me............:thumbup:

    That's all................
     
  7. Pill Monster

    Pill Monster Banned

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  8. Dillinger

    Dillinger Guest

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    Hm...sounds like a sad state of affairs, but it's nothing I haven't heard/seen before.

    A friend of mine acts the same way, he was later diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.
     
  9. John

    John Ancient Guru

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    Of course, if you ask people flat out, that's what most are going to answer. "I am myself". It's all BS. We all concede to society and whichever standards are prevalent one way or another. We're all sheep.
     
  10. NvidiaFreak

    NvidiaFreak Ancient Guru

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    That my friends is the best answer anyone can give. this right here is what push people over the edge & let them do crazy sh*t like drugs, killing people & rape so they can feel happy about there self that they finally fit somewhere. like me & other people, we don't care if we fit in or not. fitting in well not pay your bills, fitting in well not pay your house, home or rent & put food in your tables.

    So like StewieTech said, be yourself & let nature do it's thing. sometimes in life fitting in can cause more trouble then good & it's not worth it. just hang with people who are your friends because those are the ones who don't care. I see this in Time Square in NYC, people dress in odd ways but they don't care if they fit in, so why should you care if you fit in.
     

  11. Year

    Year Ancient Guru

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    i'm neither.

    i'm just a friendly down to earth little devil, i help people "fit-in".. in hell.. where their "flashy" arses are burned to a crisp.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2013
  12. AndreasGuido

    AndreasGuido Guest

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    Do what feels right. Some people like to stand out nad being the center of attention and live of it. some might stay more quiet. Some are kind of in between. Do whatever makes you happy. If you wanna follow the trend (music, clothes, hobbies) do it, if its not for you then dont.

    I would say im in between. Sometimes i like to "stand out", sometimes i cant be bothered so ill just "fit in". I am pretty laid back, never had any problems with meeting/talking to new people. Agree with year, as long as people are good with me ill be good with them. If they are nasty,then i dont have time for them.
     
  13. proFits

    proFits Guest

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    I don't even..... I missed you Year, but... wut? :p


    *Disclaimer: Do what you want as long as it's legal.

    I couldn't be further from your personal experience, I have extremely high self confidence, but am enormously timid. With people I already know, I feel like a king. Having above average intelligence, I don't fit in with most people. I have found a ''niche'' with people that like dark/grimy humor teasing each other to the limit of being insulting. (As NOFX would say: *******s like to test the limits)
     
  14. Mr Terry Turnip

    Mr Terry Turnip Guest

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    Answer is simple - train, knock people out, mockery will stop.

    Only exception is people who GENUINELY want combat - these are so few and far between, you will have your peace.

    Once you change your physicality, stand tall and show NO fear, I put it to you people will act very VERY differently around you.

    Don't submit my friend, push.

    Trouble makers look for potential victims, not true challenges.

    People looking for true challenges tend to not be common bullies.

    Sorry I am not explaining myself very well at all.

    I KNOW WHAT I MEAN! lol

    I just hate to see a seemingly nice lad like yourself forcibly repressed - I bet you only like to blend because your afraid/suffer anxiety.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2013
  15. scoter man1

    scoter man1 Ancient Guru

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    I'd have to say I'm a bit of both. How can you entirely fit in without being unique? If you are unique in no way, I feel bad for you, lol. I prefer to fit in because going with the "social" flow is much easier than pioneering a new path. I also have witnessed way too many people trying way too hard to stand out. They try so hard that it comes to the point where they just make themselves look like arrogant idiots.
     

  16. WildStyle

    WildStyle Guest

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    Yes. Majority of the time in life you have to fit in with the crowd otherwise you won't get too far. You can play a little within that boundary and add something unique but stray too far and you'll be an outcast. That's the way it works.

    And then of course, you can wonder what is it to be 'myself.' Am I being who I really am or am I being the way I should be or the way society has shaped me.
     
  17. viren

    viren Ancient Guru

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    I believe in simplicity. I don't like to stand out. I don't do different things, i do things differently.
     
  18. slick3

    slick3 Guest

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    It depends on the day I'm having I guess, some days I just want to be a nobody... just do my own things, don't want to be disturbed etc. Some days I'm the exact opposite.

    And standing out, I don't try to stand out.. I try to be different, in a way I am different because I'm a foreigner here (different accent, different humour, dressing style etc etc) and I try to keep it that way. :D
     
  19. scheherazade

    scheherazade Ancient Guru

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    Fitting in or standing out are kind of the same thing.

    You just pick a reference group, and act appropriately.

    Appearing one way gets you into one group, and out of another.
    Appearing another way gets you into a different group, and out of the first group.

    You are in effect, evoking positive attention from some, and ambivalent or negative attention from others.

    The question really is: Which group(s) do you want to assimilate with?

    (Notice how many people like being "different together" :) )

    Or, do you even care?
    IMO, as you get older, you just stop caring about these things.
    What I've noticed over time is : Get some "real" problems, then these things will fall so far down the list that you'll be in self-amazement that you ever even cared.
    Having the time and opportunity to worry about what your neighbors or peers think of your appearance, really is a luxury for idle hands.
    *Unless it is your job to make appearances. In which case you have to entertain those matters.

    -scheherazade
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2013
  20. dark_surge

    dark_surge Master Guru

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    I avoid people whenever possible so neither. I prefer to be alone and I like it that way. :)
     

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